"Old men are dangerous: it doesn't matter to them what is going to happen to the world."

"What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the substitution of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete fictitious for the contemporary real."

"He didn't dare to, because his father had a weak heart and habitually threatened to drop dead if anybody hurt his feelings. You may have noticed that people with weak hearts are the tyrants of English married life."

"I never thought much of the courage of a lion tamer. Inside the cage he is at least safe from people."

"Life at its noblest leaves mere happiness far behind; and indeed cannot endure it. Happiness is not the object of life: life has no object. It is an end in itself; and courage consists in the readiness to sacrifice happiness for a more intense qualit"

"This creative man, who in his own selfish affairs is a coward to the backbone, will fight for an idea like a hero."

"Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated."

"In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it."

"Man gives every reason for his conduct save one, every excuse for his crimes save one, every plea for his safety save one; and that one is his cowardice"

"Man gives every reason for his conduct save one, every excuse for his crimes save one, every plea for his safety save one; and that one is his cowardice."

"A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned."

"A perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire."

"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire."

"Science is always simple and profound. It is only half truths that are dangerous."

"It shows how dangerous it is to be too good"

"First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it."

"The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me."

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

"The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity"

"The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier."

"As well consult a butcher on the value of vegetarianism as a doctor on the worth of vaccination."

"My reputation grew with every failure."

"We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation."

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience."

"People exaggerate the value of things they haven't got: everybody worships truth and unselfishness because they have no experience with them"

"My opportunities were still there, nay, they multiplied tenfold; but the strength and youth to cope with them began to fail, and to need eking out with the shifty cunning of experience"

"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it."

"I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize."

"If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not an example."

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn."

"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it."

"One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't."

"Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends."

"Great Britain and the United States are nations separated by a common language."

"An asylum for the sane would be empty in America."

"My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately"

"The doctor learns that if he gets ahead of the superstitions of his patients he is a ruined man; and the result is that he instinctively takes care not to get ahead of them."

"Every doctor will allow a colleague to decimate a whole countryside sooner than violate the bond of professional etiquette by giving him away."

"Life is a disease; and the only difference between one another is the stage of the disease at which he lives"

"Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty."

"Every man over forty is a scoundrel."

"It is the mark of a truly intelligent person to be moved by statistics."

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

"Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself."

"First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity."

"Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else."

"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open."

"Home life is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo."

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."