"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."

"Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness."

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."

"Science never solves a problem without creating ten more."

"Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness."

"Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended."

"The price of ability does not depend on merit, but on supply and demand."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable."

"Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?"

"If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion."

"You cannot believe in honor until you have achieved it, better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world"

"Man can climb to the highest summits, but he cannot dwell there long."

"Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does."

"Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children."

"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it."

"You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race."

"Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive."

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."

"The best place to find God is in a garden. You can dig for him there."

"Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough."

"I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad."

"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."

"Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men."

"If women were particular about men's characters, they would never get married at all."

"If women were particular about men's characters, they would never get married at all."

"Between persons of equal income there is no social distinction except the distinction of merit. Money is nothing: character, conduct, and capacity are everything. There would be great people and ordinary people and little people, but the great would always be those who had done great things, and never the idiots whose mothers had spoiled them and whose fathers had left them a hundred thousand a year; and the little would be persons of small minds and mean characters, and not poor persons who had never had a chance. That is why idiots are always in favor of inequality of income (their only chance of eminence), and the really great in favor of equality."

"Martyrdom, sir, is what these people like; it is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability"

"I am very sorry, but I cannot learn languages. I have tried hard, only to find that men of ordinary capacity can learn Sanskrit in less time that it takes me to buy a German Dictionary"

"Only on paper has humanity yet achieved glory, beauty, truth, knowledge, virtue, and abiding love."

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

"Even the youngest of us may be wrong sometimes"

"You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'"

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

"My reputation grows with every failure."

"I write plays because I like it and because I cannot remember any period in my life when I could have been inventing people and scenes. I am not primarily a story teller : things occur to me first as seems with action and dialogue as moments, develop"

"The great advantage of a hotel is that it's a great refuge from home life"

"Orchestras only need to be sworn at, and a German is consequently at an advantage with them, as English profanity, except in America, has not gone beyond a limited technology of perdition."

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them"

"A genius can't be forced; nor can you make an ape an alderman."

"Always let your flattery be seen through for what really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering"

"I talk democracy to these men and women. I tell them that they have the vote, and that theirs is the kingdom and the power and the glory. I say to them ''You are supreme: exercise your power'.' They say, ''That's right: tell us what to do';' and I tell them. I say ''Exercise our vote intelligently by voting for me'.' And they do. That's democracy; and a splendid thing it is too for putting the right men in the right place."

"If you are going to let the fear of poverty govern your life, your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live."

"Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage -- it can be delightful."

"No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect"

"If you strike a child, take care that you strike it in anger, even at the risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should be forgiven."

"I'm not a teacher: only a fellow-traveler of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead -- ahead of myself as well as you."

"The natural term of the affection of the human animal for its offspring is six years."

"If you value a man's regard, strive with him. As to liking, you like your newspaper -- and despise it."