Funny Quotes
Find one of the best and famous quote catagorized into topics like inspirational, motivations, deep, thoughtful, art, success, passion, frindship, life, love and many more.
I really wanted to just be a musician. I didn't want to be anything else, but I was funny and all that.
Quote by -Jamie Foxx
Laughter, Susannah would later reflect, is like a hurricane: once it reaches a certain point, it becomes self-feeding, self-supporting. You laugh not because the jokes are funny but because your own condition is funny.
Quote by -Stephen King
I can understand that an audience, buying a ticket to see a picture of mine, wants to see something funny because they feel confident that at least I have a fighting chance to make a funny film when I make a film, whereas if I make a dramatic film there's one chance in a thousand that it's really going to come out great, so I understand how they feel about that and they're completely right.
Quote by -Woody Allen
New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
Quote by -Woody Allen
It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them - it strengthens them to get through the day.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Quote by -Woody Allen
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
Quote by -Woody Allen
Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Quote by -Woody Allen
The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
Quote by -Woody Allen
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Quote by -Woody Allen
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Quote by -Woody Allen
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Quote by -Woody Allen
Throughout history in the theater and film people do like sarcastic characters, and they do like curmudgeons - if they're amusing, they do like them despite the fact that they're vitriolic, particularly if they're for the right thing. If you can see that the person is a decent person and is for the right thing, and is not just a nasty person with base motives, but someone who is a decent human but expresses himself.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I never start editing a film until it's completely shot; I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
Quote by -Woody Allen
My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
Quote by -Woody Allen
As an artist, you are always striving toward an ultimate achievement but never seem to reach it. You shoot a film, and the result could have always been better. You try again, and fail once more. In some ways I find it enjoyable. You never lose sight of your goal. I don’t do my job to make money or to break box office records, I simply try things out. What would happen if I were to achieve perfection at some point? What would I do then?
Quote by -Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Quote by -Woody Allen
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
Quote by -Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Quote by -Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Quote by -Woody Allen
I've got a funny old face. Someone described it once, and I think they were being kind, as character. But I know what they mean! I've never been that conventional. I suppose maybe it means that my face can look different in different lights, so I just try and sort of keep it simple when I'm going out, to still look like me.
Quote by -Cate Blanchett
I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.
Quote by -Magic Johnson
I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.
Quote by -Magic Johnson
Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.
Quote by -Mae West