Funny Quotes
Find one of the best and famous quote catagorized into topics like inspirational, motivations, deep, thoughtful, art, success, passion, frindship, life, love and many more.
I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.
Quote by -Christian Bale
“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”
Quote by -C.S. Lewis
As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.
Quote by -Beverly Sills
There isn't so much to be afraid of, out there. I can remember thinking it was funny to find that out, on the last night of my life; I'd spent the rest of it being afraid of everything.
Quote by -Nick Hornby
It's funny the more technological advanced everything gets, the more like acting in your bedroom when you're a kid it is.
Quote by -Michael Sheen
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Quote by -Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Quote by -Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Quote by -Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Quote by -Phyllis Diller
Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
Quote by -Phyllis Diller
When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren.
Quote by -Phyllis Diller
When the joy of the job's gone, when it's no fun trying anymore, quit before you're fired.
Quote by -Malcolm S Forbes
As you get older there shouldn't be anything you won't try. The payoff is that you open up whole new avenues that are fun. It's a misinterpretation of life to live it only in preparation for the next one. To subordinate the one you've got to an indefinite next round is foolish. It's a waste of this life not to live this life. What's next is anybody's guess.
Quote by -Malcolm S Forbes
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?”
Quote by -Milton Berle
“They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.”
Quote by -Milton Berle
“A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"”
Quote by -Milton Berle
"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."
Quote by -Robert Frost
"I'm the luckiest broad on two feet, I'll tell you that. They say once a woman passes 40 she doesn't get any good parts, so I'm blessed."
Quote by -Betty White
"I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's."
Quote by -Craig Ferguson
"I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure."
Quote by -Craig Ferguson