A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, “Why were you going so fast?” I said, “See this thing my foot is on? It’s called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it.”

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

“Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.”

“There is no good and evil, there is only power and those too weak to seek it.”

“There's always room for a story that can transport people to another place.”

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”

“According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scars than almost anything else.”

“You should write a book," Ron told Hermione as he cut up his potatoes, "translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them.”

“The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters.”

"Dying? Not at all," said Sirius. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep.”

“Does it hurt?" The childish question had escaped Harry's lips before he could stop it.

“Don’t put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!”

“Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.”

“Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.”

“From now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'Die, Ron, Die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong.”

“Accio Brain!”

“To hurt is as human as to breathe.”

“You think the dead we loved truly ever leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly in times of great trouble?”

“But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.”

“I'm going to keep going until I succeed — or die. Don't think I don't know how this might end. I've known it for years.”

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”