What's funny is funny. The same thing that made you laugh a hundred years ago makes you laugh now.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

I was very involved in political satire, and I'd been writing parody for 'Mad' and 'National Lampoon,' so I made up some strange story about Gerald Ford.

Any good actor has to have a good sense of humour, too; they have to be able to manipulate people.

Break as few bones as possible and make as much noise as you can.

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if we were doing drugs.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my three-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make a movie called Chevy Chase.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just so unnatural. Only people who've been in that position can realize what it's like. I mean, you have to be there.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

You can't observe as much if you're observed by others.

I guess I look so straight and normal, nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how you dish it out. It's timing, like a dancer or an athlete would have.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

I am just happy that I have children. I don't care what they want to do!

I would love to do a movie with Albert Brooks; we're so different, but I find him so funny, and I can be just as seemingly narcissistic as he comes off, the 'it's all about me' kind of thing.

In this business, you can come and go in a second.

Nobody prepares you for what happens when you get famous, and I didn't handle it well.

I really love making movies. I just have this yearning in my stomach to go back and somehow subversively screw up television a little bit again.

Anybody can reach anywhere from five to 15 million people weekly making a president look like an idiot, as I did back then, or Tina Fey did with Sarah Palin... You're always preaching to the choir one way or the other.

I think I need to be taken away, dropped in some territory with just a lot of loud guys.

To me, talk shows are those things during the middle of the afternoon where the underbelly of society is made to look like Middle America.

The idea of trying to write sketches the same way we did on Saturday Night Live every day would be damn near impossible.

It seemed that my brother and I were always fighting in the back seat, and there was never any real reason for it.

I did comedy and parody television in the '70s. I was a liberal Democrat, and it was a very heady year.

Parodies came about because Mr. Ford was actually one of the better athletes of our presidents... but he continually had physical accidents... he was an easy target for me. The main idea was to get people laughing.

Be Funny. Be naturally funny. If you're not, get out of the business. Be compassionate.

I've usually had two styles: the Fletch character and the Clark Griswold character.

Ideally, I'd like to go right back to getting $7 million a picture and being the headliner. That's probably not going to happen.

It's incredible. Twenty-three minutes on the air, and I've got to shoot for twelve, fifteen hours a day. What the hell's that?

I have been asked to direct many times and usually said no.

For me, what makes you laugh makes you laugh.

It's about timing and rhythm. But who could be better than Chaplin or Keaton?