QUOTES by Larry David
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'
Quote by -Larry David
You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
Quote by -Larry David
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Quote by -Larry David
The temperature in that hangar would sometimes get down to 40 degrees, and very often I had to put on long underwear, which was so restrictive I suffered from an acute vascular disorder for days afterward.
Quote by -Larry David
Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Quote by -Larry David
When I’m in social situations I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don’t have to shake hands
Quote by -Larry David
An employee is told that the customer is always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and as asshole
Quote by -Larry David
Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about it.
Quote by -Larry David
I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
Quote by -Larry David
I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time. I'd rather give them things than time.
Quote by -Larry David
I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
Quote by -Larry David
I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
Quote by -Larry David
There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
Quote by -Larry David
At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.
Quote by -Larry David
And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
Quote by -Larry David
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Quote by -Larry David
The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.
Quote by -Larry David
I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
Quote by -Larry David
It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.
Quote by -Larry David
You can't do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.
Quote by -Larry David
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
Quote by -Larry David
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Quote by -Larry David
Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
Quote by -Larry David
I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
Quote by -Larry David
I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
Quote by -Larry David
It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
Quote by -Larry David
I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
Quote by -Larry David
I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it.
Quote by -Larry David