"I'm not an impressionist, per se, but if you do any kind of comedy - and they ask you to do that, most of the time - there's some degree of appreciation, I think, involving somebody you like."

"'The Apprentice' was a huge success, and Trump was a huge television star who managed to trick people into thinking he was the guy from the show."

"The Trump name is now going to mean something else."

"I want my weekends back so I can be with my kids."

"All actors have a significant amount of vanity about work, and necessarily so. Things they will do and won't do, and I've completely lost all of that. I don't care."

"If I won the lottery tomorrow, I probably would never work again."

"I don't hate Trump, but he's not somebody I admire."

"John McTiernan, the director, is not Ingmar Bergman. He does action-adventure movies."

"The harshest thing I can say is I was married to someone for whom all dissent was abuse. If you had your own opinion, you were abusive."

"Humor is the most engaging cowardice."

I've got a great sense of humor.

Thank God you've got a sense of humor, or you'd be in trouble.

"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

"Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies! gone down the American river! Dreams! adorations! illumnations! religions! the whole boatload of sensitive bullshit!"

“More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.”

“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision.”

“I don’t think there will be a woman prime minister in my lifetime.”

“Platitudes? Yes, there are platitudes. Platitudes are there because they are true.”

“It’s a funny old world.”

“I’m back… and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign ‘The Mummy Returns’.”

“What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.”

“I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one.”