"Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that."

"It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington."

"But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh."

"You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn."

"Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that."

"It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington."

"But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh."

"Adolescence is just one big walking pimple."

"I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that."

"I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism."

"I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me."

"I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever."

"My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story."

"I love audiences."

"Jimmy Stewart and Lucille Ball were so unique."

"My first book was an open letter to my three daughters."

"I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself."

"Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant."

"I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw."

"I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do."

"I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time."

"I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry."

"I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.'"

"If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all."

"Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant."

"My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too."

"I'm into 'House of Cards.' 'Breaking Bad' - my God, did I binge on that!"

"When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS."

"I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax."

"I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called 'Once Upon a Mattress,' that kind of put me on the map."

"I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes."

"I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances."

"I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry."

"My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away."

"You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has."

"My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run."

"Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief."

"I'm not a person who likes to confront."

"It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run."

"Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell."

"My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved."

"I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking."

"In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door."

"Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away."

"I really enjoy connecting with the audience."

"I have a great memory."

"I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany."

"But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table."

"As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing."

"On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing."