TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

Reality shows always look for the worst people.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.