“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.”

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”

“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”

“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”

“Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”