“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

“You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”

“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”

“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”

“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”

“I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ”

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”

“History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”