"I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars."

"Its like a sort of internet Ren Fair. Its like Dungeons & Dragons but for cool people who have got friends."

"A junkie will steal your purse, and then help you look for it."

"I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh."

"I like to believe that there is an extra warm corner of hell for these fuckers who traffic in emotional misery."

"Violence of any kind, once it starts, is like fucking a gorilla-you ain't done till the gorilla's done."

"It turns out that speeding irresponsibly in a large truck, placing personal wealth ahead of the welfare of others, is one of the greatest sins in the Universe...."

"Acid gave me a clinical, unblinking look at madness, and I discovered I wasn't brave enough to be insane."

"If you're lost you can look and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting. Time after time"

"God has more important things to worry about than who I sleep with."

"In the darkest place, shed the brightest light."

"I used to say I was Saint Cyndi of a Feces, because wherever shit fell, there I was."

"Not for nothing, but if you do that again, I'm gonna have to punch ya fuckin' heart out!"

"I still am a little late, though. I'm trying. There's a lot of shit to do to pull this old ass together."

"We lived large in a way that people who really live large don't - there's a spice, a richness, a joy that working-class people have. And even though we were kind of products of misery, we still had a vibrance."

"With fame, I'm able to create more. With every success, you have more freedom to create."

"My career never went like anyone else’s, so I never followed anyone.” Cyndi Lauper People Magazine July 8, 2013"

"I always sang. I wanted to be in a band with my sister, and I was, at 11. At 12, I started writing seriously, and that was my pacifier all through high school - that and painting."

"I have a wig for when I go outside among the regular folks, so they don't feel uncomfortable because I have a Day-Glo color somewhere in my hair."

"I wouldn't record any song that I didn't like."

"When I sing I have a lot of visions. Like what's happening now in my life."

"I wanted to make the album I always needed to make. I had to say the things I never could."

"There have been great things that happened to me."

"I'm in the business where you get the business all the time."

"I've got a Grammy and Emmy, I'd like to have a Tony."

"Sharon Osbourne is such a blast and she's so, so bright."

"Fame doesn't redeem you. It takes a long time to get there, and when you're finally there, you realise you still have authority figures telling you what to do."

"Men and women are different. I don't think men grow a brain until 26 or even 30. Girls mature a lot quicker."

"Before I became famous I had a very full life, and that gave me a lot to pick from. I always use everything. It always comes in handy. Working with animals... Well, I just enjoyed that. That was the most peaceful time."

"My mother said I was a little odd as a kid. I was alone a lot, but I didn't feel alone."

"When I got hoarse, the manager would say, 'Drink this. Joplin used to drink this,' and I used to say, 'Joplin? Joplin's dead."

"Just like I am obsessed with the history of fashion, I love reading about the history of makeup."

"If you saw me without makeup, you wouldn't recognize me."

"I lucked out when I started to sing. I'd already experienced failing at everything else."

"Sometimes my mind boggles. It's so deep my mind actually boggles."

"What, do you think that feminism means you hate men?"

"I don't have good business sense. You never get much money for the arts. But I like independence. I like to grow."

"The more you practice and study, the better you are... so I still practice and study all the time."

"Somebody did "complain "to me and tell me that my clothes were so loud they couldn't hear me sing."

"I've always felt, even as a songwriter, that the rhythm of speech is in itself a language for me."

"The '80s was a really creative and brave period. Remember, it was a period of ultraconservatism, and so you needed brave people to push ahead like that."

"When I sing I don't feel like it's me. I feel I am fabulous, like I'm 10 feet tall. I am the greatest. I am the strongest. I am "Samson". I'm whoever I want to be."

"My music is about a joyful experience. I've learned that if you can affect other people, you should."

"I learned jazz; that comes from blues. I learned rock; that comes from blues. I learned pop; that comes from blues. Even dance, that comes from blues, with the answer-and-response."

"It's that anonymous person who meanders through the streets and feels what's happening there, feels the pulse of the people, who's able to create."

"I can't judge the way other people behave. I can only look at myself."

"If you can't go one way, there's many ways to get where you're going. So you just take a step back and see beyond the wall."

"Where I come from, if you see your family and friends' civil rights being taken away, you speak up and do everything you can to keep that from happening!"

"You know, I do speak the Queens English. It's just the wrong Queens that's all. It's over the 59th Street Bridge. It's not over the Atlantic Ocean."

"There's ageism in everything. I don't give a hoot. It isn't what other people think; it's what you think. But it's hard to come to terms with getting older. I admire people like Vivienne Westwood."