"There is no indication CUSD is not in compliance with state law."

"Mr. Stroh is the one who asked me to try out for the program and it's been an incredible experience. I don't regret one single moment. When I was younger and wanted to pursue singing, Mr. Stroh gave me that push."

"We don't have a water agenda in this country that makes any sense. Our policy is just to keep spending money. And we just paid a staggering price for it."

"One is a day to day business operation issue, the other is a state of the railroad industry issue."

"As they're sorting cars for each destination, the locomotive or the set of rail cars has to go back and forth ... and change the routing of rail cars to another track, ... I know it's very frustrating to see that."

"Union Pacific apologizes for the inconveniences caused to Texarkana. Our hearts go out to the family that lost a person as a result of the derailment."

"This was our second crab feed and we hope to make it an annual event. The funds raised by the music boosters go for new equipment, trips and scholarships."

"We hope to serve over 100 dinners tonight and we would really like to thank the local businesses that donated the silent auction items."

"We knew coming in McCallie had a lot of motivation for this one. They've had 365 days to stew about last year, and McCallie is a good team. They have an excellent quarterbackÁK so we knew what to expect."

"We've seen an increase of about one and a half trains per year because of economic growth."

"The Union Pacific will research all the line titles and determine how best to use or dispose of the property."

"I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies."

"I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's."

"I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure."

"Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say."

"You gotta laugh because if you didn't you'd cry"

"If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine."

"Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands."

"Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover."

"I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving."

"Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness."

"I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty."

"I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable."

"I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it."

"Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket."

"I'm always a bit shy around evil people..."

"I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!"

"Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'."

"Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape."

"When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English."

"Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party."

"You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why, Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass."

"Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012"

"I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die."

"I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater."

"I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't."

"I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians."

"It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear."

"Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else."

"She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy. I do have a knack for finding great women."

"Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing."

"The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious."

"Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels."

"I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling."

"You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble."

"I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you."

"People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid."

"If you don't vote, you're a moron."

"It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?"

"You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex."