Is deciding what you like an instinct, a sense that arrives as swiftly as my autoimmune response to cat dander? Or is it the result of reasoned consideration, the way wine tasters swish pinot noir around in their mouths, spit it out, and reach for complex metaphors about chocolate and tobacco?

Fashion has underscored the interchangeability of men for a long time, maybe from the outset.

I have a theory that because my kitchen is small, you can't preheat an oven and deal with dough at the same time, although maybe it's just that I'm a bad baker.

Subtlety doesn't work with kids.

Children's books deal in idealized worlds, so they're a document of how our notion of ideal worlds has changed over time.

Every sense has the power to transport us through time, but it's taste I find the most mysterious, and writing about it often results in tortured metaphors.

For a long time, I thought that I was an enlightened parent by virtue of being an enlightened person. What a fool.

I think it's a not-uncommon experience for gay boys, young men, and even older men to spend a lot of time in the company of women.

History is a story like any other, but black history is a story so devoid of logic that it frustrates the young reader. The young readers in my house, told of slavery and segregation, asked in disbelief, 'What? Why?' We - the parents of black children, the parents of all children - still need to tell that story.

It comforts the adult conscience to remember that, amid history's grave injustices, there were still great lives.

If writing really is empathy, then understanding your place in society might actually help you achieve it.

Form ossifies into genre through repetition.

One of the many American ideals that make no sense at all is that we're all a million rugged individualists marching in lockstep. We dress accordingly, at least the men. If it's always been thus, I yearn for the halcyon days of the man in the gray flannel suit because at least that guy had some flair.

I know I've had a charmed experience of being a parent, with healthy kids, a helpful partner, access to good day care, and great public schools.

Among this country's enduring myths is that success is virtuous, while the wealth by which we measure success is incidental. We tell ourselves that money cannot buy happiness, but what is incontrovertible is that money buys stuff, and if stuff makes you happy, well, complete the syllogism.

Every Christmas, I cook an elaborate Mexican dinner.

Children are weird. I was going to say 'most children,' but I think this a rare universal law.

I mourn for the kind of dad I didn't have; I rue my first broken family while taking joy in the one that I've made.

It is true for my family and many others: Adoption has made us infinitely richer in the ways that matter most.

Lindsay Hatton's novel 'Monterey Bay' so beautifully evokes the landscape of the titular locale, you'll feel transported to Northern California even if you're reading it on the bus on your morning commute.

In a strange way, Louise Erdrich is perhaps our least famous great American writer; she is not reclusive, but she is reticent, and her public appearances give the impression of a carefully controlled performance. But Erdrich has also shared many of her most intimate emotions and experiences, in some form, in her novels.

Everyone on Twitter - everyone on the Internet - seems so damn certain. Brevity doesn't allow for nuance, and it's a nice complement to confidence.

I didn't know, at 22, that regret is useless. If I could go back and change something - give myself some big break, pass along some secret information, reassure myself that most things would, in fact, work out - I don't think I would.

Class is very, very fertile territory for American artists, and it has been for a long time.

Men's fashion's tendency toward uniformity promises little fun, but at least it offers this: If I wear sweatpants and sneakers, I can pass as the American it's safest to be.

I married the man I love when the state of California said I could. We made a family through adoption, as New York State said we could. From the outside, our family - two dads, two sons via adoption - seems like an experiment, but what family isn't an experiment?

I always like it when writers posit writing as an act of empathy. It's such a grand turn of phrase, such a noble ideal; empathy is so worth aiming for in life that the same must hold true in art. But personally, I can't think too deeply about that when I'm working, or I'd never get anything down on the page.

The person most qualified to tell the tale of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is the man himself, as gifted an intellect as he is an athlete.

I grew up in the D.C. suburbs, and what I like about that place is that there's not a strong regional affect in the cultural imagination like there is in Dallas or San Francisco or New York City. You have a little more freedom as a novelist this way. The suburbs become a generic idea, and the place doesn't intrude into the narrative.

When I look at the list of my favorite works, writers who are women do tend to outnumber writers who are men for whatever reason.

I've spent many hours of my life browsing in stores. At 21, I admired clothes I couldn't afford. At 30, I bought them. At 40, I sometimes go simply for the pleasure, of seeing what is new, of learning what counts as beautiful now.

Usually, when you see clothes on a model, by some transitive property, that garment is imbued with her beauty.

I love fiction's ability to allow me to inhabit a wholly different life.

A writer cannot be judged for his project, only its execution.

When I go out, I'm always dressed up. Not in drag but always prepared to be 'on.' Just in case somebody's going to take a picture. Everyone has a Facebook page, so no matter what, I'm prepared to service the public.

All things to do with drag are inherently therapeutic because the realization of your own insanity is the beginning of sanity.

Personally, I experience success when I enjoy what I'm doing. I love the creative process, even if the end result isn't embraced by anyone else.

Unfortunately, in our culture, one person can write a letter to the network, and they shut something down. It's unfortunate.

Life is dangerous. There are no guarantees.

I've lived my whole life in the life - I've lived my whole life doing the thing, I've been doing my own thing. And I think my life speaks volumes about what one must do.

Doing drag in a male-dominant culture is an act of treason. It's the most punk-rock thing you can do.

There are only two types of people in the world. There are the people who understand that this is a matrix, and then there are the people who buy it lock, stock and barrel.

My spiritual practice reminds me of what's really real, what's really hood.

We humans are still a very primitive culture, and it's one of the traps we've fallen into over the course of our lives - to forget our history. That's why George Orwell's 'Animal Farm' is so profound. It chronicles our short memory.

I always did what I thought was interesting. I always just did what caught my fantasy. Looking like a woman, that was never the criteria for me. It was always to do drag. And drag is not gender-specific. Drag is just drag. It's exaggeration.

I loved 'Carol.' I thought it was a beautiful film.

In my life, I've been able to really examine society in a way most people who aren't outsiders don't get a chance to do.

It's true in everything, not just in drag: To be a success, you have to understand the landscape. You have to know thyself, and you have to know your history so that you can draw from people who have figured out the equation you are faced with. It's not rocket science.

Drag queens have always taken on that role of spilling the tea - and the tea is the emperor has no clothes!

I've always been interested in what else is here, what lies beneath.