Con artists specialize in finding what people need, and Trump knows the media craves variety, scandal, secrets, and he-said-she-said stories, even of the most dubious provenance.

All my life, the Republican Party has been my political home. Helping it succeed has been my work for decades. It was never perfect, but families never are.

I really like Bobby Jindal.

Even as a Southerner, there's only so much corn-pone shucking and jiving about mama-and-gravy talk I can take.

Kasich does two fundamentals in presidential politics wrong; he talks, and he keeps talking.

Trump would have us revise and edit our historical memory of 9/11, turning it from a unifying narrative of heroism, tragedy, and war and recast it to serve the political ends of a man unworthy of the presidency.

Because Donald Trump has to destroy everything in his path, why not the true history of 9/11?

We should tell the true stories of that day to honor the memory and sacrifice of those who perished on 9/11 and in the long wars since.

As a Republican governor, a senator, or member of Congress, or as a Republican candidate, let me remind you: You're known by the company you keep. By associating yourself with or endorsing Trump, you own Trump's toxic radioactivity with voters outside his base.

I believed that the numbers and processes of modern campaigning that revolve around the meticulous use of data would matter in 2016. I believed Trump was merely a spectacle, a political sideshow who would be dispatched by the well-funded and the well-staffed major campaigns.

A large plurality of the Trump electorate believed the definition of 'conservative' was simply 'Not Hillary.'

Before the GOP became the party of Trump's gangster capitalism, they weren't perfect capitalists, but they at least paid lip service to the power of markets and capitalism.

Lord knows I'm all for lowering rates and simplifying the tax code.

FISA targets those who are 'agents of a foreign power.'

Obama was referred to in terms so glowing, so fulsome, so toadying that it was easy to pin down the journalist class of 2008 as a group of fangirls squeeing and fainting at his every utterance.

As Trump's mistakes pile up, Congress will be left on cleanup detail.

In politics, Victory Disease comes when a majority believes their position is so secure and immune from challenge that they forget the lessons of the past and can't imagine an outcome that isn't in their favor. Neither party is inoculated against it.

Trump is always Trump, and never, ever improves.

The prisoner never loves his warden, even if he obeys the rules from time to time.

All the fantasies of Trump-Bannon nationalism require a vastly expanded state, with greater powers over the economy and society.

There's an unspoken rule post-Cold War American Presidents have used when describing the awesome power of our nuclear arsenal; the more devastating the ability to destroy the enemy, the more restrained the language should be.

Every man who has sat in the Oval Office has felt the short, sharp shock when an ordinary day in the highest office in the land shifts from pomp and ceremony to urgent briefings, immediate choices, crucial decisions where lives are on the line. It's not something that may happen to a president. It's something that will happen.

Fame is an upshot of what I do. If you're a successful comedian or actor, then you're a famous one. But it's not the driving force. It's a by-product.

I'm a fan of the kind of political correctness that is about not promoting prejudice. But some people in America are offended by equality because when you've had privilege for so long, equality feels like oppression.

I don't know why other people are concerned about other people's lives that much.

How many times have we seen reality celebrities fall from grace - often through no fault of their own - and then go on a show like 'Celebrity Big Brother' and say, 'I want to show the public a different side of me.' And I'm screaming at the telly going, 'This is not therapy. This is voyeurism!'

What makes 'Derek' a different kind of sitcom - if it is even a sitcom - is its sincerity.

I don't mind what people say about me as long as it's an opinion or the truth. If someone says, 'He's the worst comedian in the world,' that's fine. If someone says, 'His face makes me want to punch the TV,' that's fine. But if they say, 'Oh, and I know for a fact he hunts squirrels,' I go: no, no, no... that's a lie.

There are no Hollywood stars speaking out for the elderly. They're forgotten, bewildered, and I don't think it's because people are cruel or don't care. It's because you don't want to think about your own mortality. I think people don't talk about it enough.

Stephen Merchant looks like a Muppet. I mean, he looks like Beaker.

Your reputation is still the most important thing that you've got.

I love 'The Godfather' and 'Casablanca' - great stories, acted well, made well.

If you spend your days doing what you love, it is impossible to fail. So I go about my days trying to bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. And then everyone gets furious about it. And then I sit back and say, 'I did that!'

I do the Golden Globes because they say I can say what I want. I wouldn't have that at the Oscars.

Humor is to get us over terrible things.

If I just cut out the food, I'd have a six-pack. I'd look like Matthew McConaughey.

Believe it or not, I work out regularly.

Comedy is easy for me, but with drama, I don't know... it's still the Holy Grail.

I'm a scientist at heart, so I know how important the truth is. However inconvenient, however unattractive, however embarrassing, however shocking, the truth is the truth, and wanting it not to be true doesn't change things.

I was David Bowie-thin up to about 28, and then I discovered food.

My career, I look at it in a Darwinian framework. I'm going to do exactly what I want, and I'm going to survive, or I'm not. I'm not going to pander. I'm not going to change things. I'm not going to do focus groups. I'll live and die by the sword. I don't care. Because I couldn't live with myself.

I'd never tried as hard with anything as I did with 'The Office,' and it was one of the things I'm proud of. I wasn't trying to be famous or a comedian, but this opportunity came along when I was 38 or 39. It came late, and I couldn't have been prouder of it.

Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.

The best script in the world doesn't work perfectly when you actually act it out. That's a law. That's a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product.

I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet.

To be fair to David Brent, he wants to be famous for doing something, for being a musician, but he's just not good enough.

The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.

I really just want to make Karl Pilkington the new messiah.

All of my friends are oddities.

Oh, let's face it: I hate everything in others.