Start by writing down ten positive words to describe yourself. Write them on a card - the size of a business card will do - and bring it out whenever you feel insecure or your self-esteem is running low. Bring it out before you walk into a big party or go to an important meeting. It will help you, believe me. Carry it everywhere.

Our future is in our hands and we must stop looking to politicians to fix matters - they can't.

I didn't have any friends when I was at Radio 1. I didn't hang out with anyone and I didn't hang around after work. The other DJs hated me because first I was given the 'Breakfast Show,' and then I got on television.

Well, I think Ant and Dec clearly liked me because 'Saturday Night Takeaway' is basically 'Noel's House Party.'

Haven't we all grown up trusting high street banks? Their branches were fixtures, not only in our towns and cities, but in the way our lives ran. Yet it is no exaggeration to say that thousands, possibly millions of us, instead of being helped have found our lives permanently damaged by the toxic U.K. financial system.

There is a theme to my broadcasting career - I've never done anything just for the money.

I don't care if someone calls me names.

If you want to get things done in life, you don't go into politics. If you want to get things done in life you go into communications. Absolutely certain.

I've met so many politicians I absolutely despise.

There isn't such a thing as death. It's just a departure.

Wi-fi and all the systems we are introducing into our lives are destroying our own natural electro-magnetic fields.

I think cancer - I'm not an expert or a doctor - but I think cancer is the result of undigested dreams and forcing yourself to do something that is not distinctively you.

I'm very straightforward on immigration. The bus is full. We haven't got enough energy, we haven't got enough electricity, we haven't got enough of a health service.

I'm a very tolerant person and I'm open to new ideas; I'm not an evangelist. I don't go round telling people, 'You must try this.' But I don't pour scorn on any idea either.

I've had a fantastic relationship with the British public.

I do a form of meditation every day anyway.

Whether you call it meditation, self-reflection or just shutting everything out, I am quite good at that.

Mentally, I am quite good at self discipline.

Please be kind, don't be judgemental.

Life without hope is no life.

I use my experience to comfort and support others for whom life has no hope.

I believe pulsed electromagnetism has a role to play in tackling cancer and I will always believe that.

When I worked for the BBC, what I was paid to do 'House Party' was all over the tabloid press, there was no privacy there.

The majority of business people are sheeple.

I didn't find Saturday night television difficult.

I played football for a long time when I was a kid, and then I went to art college and turned my back on it. Because of that, my toes are mangled; they've been broken. They're like hooves or talons. They're disgusting. I'd never get them out.

You're still young. Don't panic. It's hard to know what you should be doing in your 20s. Try different things, have some fun, and see what happens.

I was in a band with a boy who was quite androgynous and a bit bisexual, and we used to play up to that a little bit to be provocative in a theatrical way, but I guess you either are or aren't.

When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden.

I hate my feet. I don't like my hands, either: they're like lions' paws. When I was in the Boosh, in a catsuit and gold heels, I was constantly thinking, 'I hate the way I look.' I should have just enjoyed myself, because that was as good as it was going to get.

I love David Suchet. I'm obsessed with Poirot. Then I saw him in 'The Importance of Being Earnest,' where he did Lady Bracknell, and he was amazing - he did it like a dinosaur, like a velociraptor.

I've got quite a strong drive, and that can be slightly deplorable. Struggling to become a famous comedian - there's something weird about that.

People like to put you a box. I've always been the wrong shape. Maybe you are, too. I think all the people who are wrong shapes for boxes should go out and march into the streets singing, 'We are the shapes! We don't fit the box.'

Kids love Lady Gaga because she's a freak, and she's one of the few people doing that, but unfortunately, Lady Gaga hasn't got the tunes. She's not David Bowie or Roxy Music.

I think the more you party and the more you get drunk, the more your soul starts to evaporate, and eventually, you're just a husk. So you have to go to the gym and build your soul up again.

The Goons were always one of our favourites; we always felt we were in that tradition - Goons, Monty Python, Peter Cook, Vic and Bob, Spike Milligan. We felt we were part of that lineage, but in England, it wasn't happening like that. There was a brand of comedy like 'The Office,' which was very real.

For the second series of 'Luxury Comedy', I tried to drop the 'Noel Fielding' from it. I thought that would make it less like a solo project and more like a show. Also, it would probably have been easier to take the reaction to the first series if it had been a project rather than my name and face!

I hated school, so when I got to this place with other people who could draw and were interested in wearing makeup, it was amazing.

Gay people are all like Superman. You have to be quite strong to be gay - or to be different in any way. You build special muscles.

It is scary playing someone you know. You don't want to let him down.

I like to warm them up with stand-up, get them into my world and tone, and then bring other characters on. There's so much you can do theatrically on stage. You keep changing the direction and angles, and then people don't get bored.

When I was 11, I was with my cousin in a scrapyard; there were three trains on top of each other, and we climbed up to the top. It was really high, and I nearly fell off, but my cousin grabbed the back of my shirt.

The best stuff comes out when you're not making it for anything and you don't really know what you're making.

I get more work when I'm thinner. I was playing Alice Cooper, and I had to lose a stone, so I wasn't eating sugar. You can't just get straight back onto sugar, as it's quite a powerful thing.

I like how food can look incredible more than I like eating it. I started moving food around the plate to make it appear I'd eaten more but then enjoyed making faces on the plate - peas for eyebrows, Yorkshire puddings for eyes.

When you're famous, you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big.

I quite like bacon sandwiches because they're colourful. Mashed potato on toast is fine. But colourful and easy to eat is best.

I just like magical, fantastical stuff. I don't really see it as surreal when I'm writing. It's just, I write, and then I have an idea, and usually, they're quite odd.

I start getting bored and misbehaving if I don't work hard. It's fine when you're younger - you go out a lot and muck around with your mates and drink and stuff - but I'm a bit over that now.

I'm involved with this exhibition, which is a collection of Nobby Clarke's photos of the opening night of my own art exhibition.