And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.

I don't buy the 'at 60 it's great to have kids' thing. I don't buy the line that has been thrown down - 'You can have a kid at any time.' That doesn't mean you should.

Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny.

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people.

I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and that shouldn't be part of the ballgame, ever.

Everybody's always asking me about my blood pressure. They did an interview once where they hooked me up to a blood pressure machine and they'd rile me. I'd yell and scream, and then it would just go back to normal in a few minutes. Everything else is probably rotting, but the blood pressure is spectacular.

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.

The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.

No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke. Remember: It's your life, not theirs. Just because your parents sent you to college doesn't mean they bought the rest of your life.

My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School. Something, somehow, didn't get passed on to my generation.

Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit.

I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.

My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road.

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!

Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republicans should be focused on how to do that in the most fiscally responsible manner possible.

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.

If you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doesn't make me a misogynist. If I compare all women to Michelle Bachman, then I'm a misogynist.

When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is.

There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.

I'm just super competitive. Squash, tennis, water skiing, computer games... Even if I played you at pool, I'd have to win.

Each championship has felt different in its own way, I guess because I've been in different place of my life; I've gone through different things.

I usually sleep four or five hours, but when you are training, you need more than that.

When I'm driving, the fewer distractions there are, the better it is to focus on the job in hand.

I feel equal to Mexicans, Asians, everyone. That's the kind of positive message I want to get out.

When I think about greatness I just know Ayrton Senna. He was great.

I love all of the Marvel comics movies.

I started watching Formula 1 with my dad when I was just four or five years old. I loved cars.

I genuinely have always had support from all of my team. I have never had any complaints from them.

I'm no less focused than any of my peers. They live a different life. They go home; they are not pictured at events. I train just as much as them, maybe more.

It takes me forever to read a book. I have such a small attention span.

F1 is about the best drivers competing against each other for the best teams producing the best cars they can.

I have the best job in the world.

I would love to one day have my own line of clothes.

I love it in the States. The roads are big, the food is big. If it was possible to be in L.A. and still live my racing life, I would move now.

I certainly lead a different life from many people. I have a great life that I am thankful for, and I like travelling.

I like wearing things that other people wouldn't want to wear, to be a bit edgy.

People say I have an aggressive style, and sometimes I don't think that is all just me. I think it's partly because I watched Senna when I was young, and I thought, 'This is how I want to drive when I get the opportunity.'

I really like to play to squash, because it's competitive, and I like basketball. I'm friends with a guy in L.A. called Andrew Bynum, who used to play for the L.A. Lakers NBA team. We play together sometimes.

Sometimes it takes time to find people in the sport who share the same opinions and approach to racing as me.

All in all, racing with lift and coast is actually harder.

There have been some ups and downs. I've not always had it my own way. That's the way racing is supposed to be.

If Ferrari wanted me, they would have approached me. I want to work with people who want me. If they don't want me, it is no problem.

Equalising performance between teams runs completely counter to the idea of F1 and would be very unfair for us.

The Hamilton name will live on way beyond me now, which I'm very happy to be a part of.

I don't like to read fiction. I like to learn something when I'm reading.