When I look back to my infancy many images come to mind, beautiful and ugly.

The Champions League is more important than the Scudetto.

I've had an incredible career.

Rafael Benitez and Mourinho are coaches with different ideas, but both want to win.

Football is made up of episodes.

Strikers get periods like this, periods when you do everything right and others when you can't do anything properly.

You have to accept the criticism but you also have to consider how much of what is said and written is actually true.

I couldn't have left Banfield in the ways I would have wanted, but the people here are always great.

Banfield are in my heart.

I have always taken pleasure from the affection I received from Banfield fans everytime I have returned here, but I will not close my career with them.

I will not end my career with Banfield. I will stay at Inter until the end, the Nerazzurri fans should remain tranquil.

I am proud to be an Inter player.

It is always a great feeling to win.

I always give my best in training as if it was a Champions League final.

I'll never forget my time at Banfield. It is a club that gave me everything and gave me the opportunity to become a man and a player.

To reach Bergomi at the top of appearances for Inter in Europe gives me pride.

In every team there are those who are discontented.

I go to the hairdresser once a month and even if I don't use products, I always want to look tidy.

I like my hair. I care about it.

I'm happy with my career.

I have always felt a comedy's story is undercut if you have a villain who is not really menacing.

With 'Puddle Cruiser,' the first 15 minutes are the weakest. When you're total unknowns and you have a weak opening, it's a real problem. At some screenings, we'd see the odd walkout before the movie even got going. But to counteract that, we'd do sketches before the show to introduce the film.

The first thing I do in the editing room is the 'radio edit,' where you listen to the dialogue and don't even look at the visuals. The rhythm, the music of the comedy, has to work.

We can't make movies without scripts, and there's no cost to writing a script, so my advice to newcomers is do it yourself: Write your own script, shoot your shorts, edit your shorts.

People always ask us, 'Hey, is there going to be a 'Beerfest 2'?' I don't know if I have another beer joke in me.

I have always enjoyed outlaw films such as 'Smokey and the Bandit.'

I have used the name Jambulingam while editing films such as 'Super Troopers' and 'Puddle Cruiser.' I like the look and sound of it.

In the summer of 2000, four college friends and I grew mustaches, bought highway patrol uniforms, and shot a $1.2 million budgeted independent film called 'Super Troopers.'

I've written close to 20 screenplays and 100 sketches - I know exactly how to do them. They're judged by set criteria that I know.

That movie - 'Airplane!' - it influenced so many of us.

One of my random skills is I have a very strong memory for dialogue and moments, and I don't know why.

Like hitting a baseball, comedy is very much about timing. To some degree, you either 'got it or you don't.'

You see any movie, and it's just a feat of human strength and perseverance. It is a brutally challenging business.

'Smokey and the Bandit' is tough and funny.

I think that society is aspiring towards racial indifference, but the reality of life is not that. And so when you meet someone, you can see their race - it's right there on their face - and I feel like it's interesting.

To me, I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and my identity is of a suburban Chicago person. It's not like, 'Oh, I'm Indian.' I'm not. I'm American.

I took one film class at NYU over a summer and learned the basics - you know, how to load a camera and how to light and how to edit - and I became a film editor.

I think, in a film that's supposed to last an hour and a half, I think you have to really pay attention to what kind of movie you're making, what is the audience experiencing, and does this joke fit with this joke?

We write and write and write until we think, 'If we have to shoot this script, we'll be happy, and it's going to be a great movie.' I meet with all the actors two weeks before, and I ask them, 'What lines don't work? What is uncomfortable for you? What jokes do you think aren't good? If you're not getting it, here's what the joke is.' You fix it.

'48 Hrs.' is very tough and funny.

Whether I'm performing or directing, I'm aways thinking about rhythm; sometimes it's nailing the right rhythm, and sometimes it's intentionally breaking the rhythm. Those two things are what make something funny or not. How long a shot is and where you put the camera are all part of that rhythm of directing.

There has been a stigma around letting movies be seen on home screens on the same day as theatrical screens. Universal said they were going to do it with 'Tower Heist,' but they backed off when challenged by the theater owners. I understand where the theater owners are coming from on big studio movies.

'Super Troopers' benefited from the old way of watching films, the way we watched at Colgate, when you went to someone's house, looked at their DVD collection, and then just picked one.

A lot of comedies in the 1980s and 1990s had all these colors and were so brightly lit. But John Landis had this dark style, like a Scorsese film.

Colgate is the epitome of having it both ways. Academically, it ranks in the top twenty schools in the country, but it is also a famous party school.

The film you know as 'Super Troopers' is a film that almost didn't happen. The script was originally commissioned and developed by Miramax, but when it failed to get a green light, Harvey Weinstein was kind enough to give it back to us so we could make it elsewhere.

If I were in charge of the Olympics, I would probably try to put something for the javelin guy to aim at. Not just length, but see if you could spear something.

Often, when you're in some of these writing rooms for... and the most restrictive is network television, right? They say, 'Wow, that's a great joke, but we can't do that. Okay, let's try the second joke. Oh, you can't do that one. But the third joke you can do,' and hopefully it will be great, but it will remind people of what the joke really was.

I myself downloaded and watched 'The Wire,' 'Breaking Bad,' 'Downton Abbey,' 'Mad Men' and 'The Walking Dead' on my iPad while walking on a treadmill. I never turned a TV on once. I never inserted a DVD.

When we had Brian Cox in 'Super Troopers,' we learned that when you put a great actor in the center of our lunacy, it grounds everything.