“Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.”

“Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.”

“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.”

“Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.”

“A misery is not to be measured from the nature of the evil, but from the temper of the sufferer.”

“In doing what we ought we deserve no praise, because it is our duty.”

“It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.”

“In doing what we ought we deserve no praise.”

“If you wish success in life, make perseverance you bosom friend, experience your wise councellor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.”

“Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind.”

“Quick sensitivity is inseperable from a ready understanding.”

“An empty desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.”

“I will indulge my sorrows, and give way to all the pangs and fury of despair.”

“He who hesitates is lost.”

“The important question is not, what will yield to man a few scattered pleasures, but what will render his life happy on the whole amount.”

“Soon as the evening shades prevail, The moon takes up the wondrous tale, And nightly to the listening earth Repeats the story of her birth.”

“What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.”

“When I look upon the tombs of the great, every emotion of envy dies in me; when I read the epitaphs of the beautiful, every inordinate desire goes out; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tombstone, my heart melts with compassion; when I see the tomb of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of grieving for those whom we must quickly follow;”

“I'm constantly around people that talk a lot but say nothing. A sad case.”

“Life will not break your heart. It will crush it.”

“It is our destiny to be born beautiful into an ugly age.”

“I'm not close to people, I am close to myself. I spend a lot of time inside.”

“What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.”

“Love is self deception. I am a living creature. Hate is only self love. I am a double feature.”

“We came to the end, we found nothing. Nothing!!! And we cursed because we were hoping for so much less.”

"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."

"I was born and have ever remained in the most humble walks of life."

"By what principle of original right is it that one-fiftieth or one-ninetieth of a great nation, by calling themselves a State, have the right to break up and ruin that nation as a matter of original principle?"

"Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this."

"To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets, but peaceful ballots only, are necessary."

"In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and to the young, it comes with bitterest agony because it takes them unawares. I have had experience enough to know what I say."

"If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem."

"Avoid popularity if you would have peace."

"Stand with anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes wrong."

"I am humble Abraham Lincoln. I have been solicited by my friends to become a candidate for the Legislature. My politics are short and sweet, like the old woman's dance."

"If you're walking with your lady on the sidewalk, I still like to see a man walking street-side, to protect the lady from traffic. I grew up with that, and I hate to see something like that get lost. I still like to see that a man opens the door. I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing."

"It's your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don't take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver."

"Don't try to be young. Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won't live long enough to find out about, but I'm still curious about them. You know people who are already saying, 'I'm going to be 30 - oh, what am I going to do?' Well, use that decade! Use them all!"

"Animals are near and dear to my heart, and I've devoted my life to trying to improve their lives."

"When I pontificate, it sounds so, you know, Oh, well, she's preaching. I'm not preaching, but I think maybe I learned it from my animal friends. Kindness and consideration of somebody besides yourself. I think that keeps you feeling young. I really do."

"During the Depression, my dad made radios to sell to make extra money. Nobody had any money to buy the radios, so he would trade them for dogs. He built kennels in the backyard, and he cared for the dogs."

"I'm not into animal rights. I'm only into animal welfare and health. I've been with the Morris Animal Foundation since the '70s. We're a health organization. We fund campaign health studies for dogs, cats, lizards and wildlife. I've worked with the L.A. Zoo for about the same length of time. I get my animal fixes!"

"Anger tears me up inside... My own... or anyone else's."

"Doing drama is, in a sense, easier. In doing comedy, if you don't get that laugh, there's something wrong."

"I go out to the kitchen to feed the dog, but that's about as much cooking as I do."

"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex."

"We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels & free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep & conformists."

"Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position."

"That's what's so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity."

"The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs."