Leroy bet me I couldn’t find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough.

I'd never seen men hold each other. I thought the only things they were allowed to do was shake hands or fight.

No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.

Put your money in your head, that way no one can take it from you.

All this overt heterosexuality amused me. If only they knew.

Dean: Don't you find that somewhat of an aberration? Doesn't this disturb you my dear? After all, it's not normal. Molly: I know it's not normal for people in this world to be happy, and I'm happy.

I believe in a lively disrespect for most forms of authority.

I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.

Whoever heard of a neurotic frog? Where do humans get off thinking they're the pinnacle of evolution?

High heels were invented by a woman who had once been kissed on the forehead.

Oh well, maybe the only beauty left in cities is in the oil slicks on the road and maybe there isn't any beauty left in the people who live in these places.

❝Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.❞

I believe that we often disguise pain through ritual and it may be the only solace we have.

The writer's job is not to write a novel, hold it up and say, “Here I am,” but to write a novel, hold it up and say, “Here YOU are.

I hate the telephone. I think the lowest circle of hell is reserved for Alexander Graham Bell.

I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off.

Sex makes monkeys out of all of us. If you don’t give in to it, you wind up a cold, unfeeling bastard. If you do, you spend the rest of your life picking up the pieces. . . .

Two wrongs don't make a right. No, but three will get you back on the freeway!

Normal is the average of deviance.

I mean, what do people talk about when they're married?" "Their kids, I guess." "Maybe that's all they have in common.

It doesn't matter to me. We're still cousins in our own way. Blood's just something old people talk about to make you feel bad.

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.

Every day you're alive and someone loves you is a miracle.

Language exerts hidden power, like the moon on the tides.