I wanted to be a mom. That's all I ever wanted in my life.

Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn't functional. It was pretty, pretty dysfunctional, and whose isn't?

I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless. And that gave me a sense of predictability.

I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up.

That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family.

What bothers me and hurts me is the fact that people assumed I was a bad mom.

As 'Octomom,' I was the walking dead. When I woke up and I went back to my roots, my helping profession, and my kids, we were struggling financially, but it didn't matter. I never felt so free and so happy in my life.

My biggest challenge is my severely autistic son.

I do not like babies who cry.

I hate babies.

I only had one boyfriend my whole life, and I never loved him.

My older six are animals.

I've always wanted a big family - not this big!

I haven't felt my toes on my foot on the right side for many years, and my fingers are numb all the time every day.

I'm a raw vegan, and I perceive pharmaceuticals to be poison.

I have PTSD from all the reporters coming in over the years.

I'm damned if I do what I need to do with the media to support my kids, and I'm damned if I don't. If I don't, I can't take care of them.

I was selfish and immature. I never wanted the attention. There were helicopters flying over the hospital while I was giving birth.

When I ran away from the 'Octomom' persona, I went right back into my healthy lifestyle.

Had I not gone through the struggles and the obstacles I had, I would not be as strong as I am today. I believe those impediments have forged, shaped, and strengthened my character.

There were no healthy opportunities for Octomom. I was doing what I was told to do and saying what I was told to say.

Octomom was media-created.

When you're pretending to be something you're not, at least for me, you end up falling on your face.

There's nobody, possibly, who could have hated 'Octomom' more than I.