I became the master of playing the straight bat - I would go to bars with the boys, I would always be the one to start a fight, to be outrageous and drink the most. I even went to the extreme of marrying the perfect woman for me.

Toulouse opened my eyes as a player and as a person. I returned to Wales 10 times better for the experience. I admit that when I went there I was not life-savvy: I was a wild child who lived life instinctively. I would walk past a building and not even notice it.

There are times in my life when I've wanted never to exist. There's times you don't want to go back to.

I knew I was gay at 18, but to come out then would have meant I would not have achieved what I did in rugby. I loved rugby so much and it was so important to me that I made the decision to keep my sexuality secret. People may disagree with that, but it was my belief and my decision.

You cannot afford to take any risks where your health is concerned.

I'm not going on a crusade but I'm proud of who I am. I feel I have achieved everything I could ever possibly have hoped to achieve out of rugby and I did it being gay. I want to send a positive message to other gay people that they can do it, too.

Part of a sportsman's job is taking banter from the crowd.

If you add children to a marriage, they bring a different dimension to the relationship. If I'd had a child and I believed it would have made my child's life better by not coming out, the chances are I wouldn't have done it. Because I think you do whatever it takes to make your child happy.

My sport was my comfort. The routine, the camaraderie, the team... everyone's around you. After rugby you're on your own.

My father always pretends to hate Christmas. But when we were children he was the first one waking us up, saying: 'Do you think Father Christmas has been yet?'

I was able to come out as gay publicly because my family had accepted me. They thought nothing of it, and without them I wouldn't have been able to do it. If I didn't have them in my life I would have felt like I had no one.

Wherever I am in my life, it's because rugby has enabled me to do that.

Everything I do, I do it being myself.

This journey of education and breaking stigma around HIV is something that will have a legacy everlasting.

My brain acts bizarrely and I keep having major mood swings.

I just make sure that people around me are fine. There is not a lot I can do anymore. Just support the people. Be with them. But at the end, I've got to go play. And after, we can talk again. But I have to kind of block it for two hours.

That's my every day: putting things aside and going out there and have two hours of concentration of tennis.

I'm used to putting so many things aside to be able to compete.

It's like if you have a bad day and you don't change your mindset, even if you go to buy bread at the supermarket, like, everything is so bad. It happens. I'm very negative. You have to change it.

It doesn't always work out that you win a tournament and then a Grand Slam, but I'm happy to have the confidence.

I don't want to retire before the tournament starts for me.

I just think I play better in the greater scenarios. I just get motivated. I like the big crowds on the centre courts.

For us, the Grand Slams are very important. When the Grand Slams come, you're thinking, 'OK, this is the tournament.' To lose there is disappointing.

I used to either lose in my first or second match or I would go very far in the tournament. So I've been saying to myself, 'Come on, you've got to get through these first two matches. They're very tough. Because afterwards you feel different.' So I'm really putting my energy into getting through to those later rounds.