"I'm a big cockeyed optimist. I try to accentuate the positive as opposed to the negative."

"If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble."

"Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do."

"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."

"If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges."

"What makes saintliness in my view, as distinguished from ordinary goodness, is a certain quality of magnanimity and greatness of soul that brings life within the circle of the heroic."

"If one begins all deeds well, it is likely that they will end well too."

"Not all things are to be discovered; many are better concealed."

"There is no city in the United States in which I can get a warmer welcome and fewer votes than Columbia, Ohio."

"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft."

"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft."

"The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results."

"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."

"Tree at my window, window tree,/ My sash is lowered when night comes on;/ But let there never be curtain drawn/ Between you and me."

“If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.” 

The king is up. You attend on the king, not on the clock. When the king is awake, you are awake.

The Jews had holidays that turned up out of the blue and the Catholics had children in much the same way.

How old does one have to be still to say tits?

She wasn't wholly infatuated, though she liked the way he looked; but, so too did he and that unfatuated her a bit.

I note at the age of ten a fully developed ability not quite to enjoy myself, a capacity I have retained intact ever since.

It is seldom at the frontier that discoveries are made but more often in the dustbin.

One seldom was able to do her a good turn without some thoughts of strangulation.

Never at my best when at my best behaviour.

I am the King. I tell. I am not told. I am the verb, sir. I am not the object. (King George III)