I just want to be able to keep my house and pay for my son's school tuition in Los Angeles.

I spent a lot of time staring at the clock in school, so I have that kind of personality.

You know, I did not like being famous. It was a stressful and ugly time, and I'm glad it's over.

I think it's great when writers get recognition; it doesn't happen very often. I just don't want that writer to be me. Let it be Aaron Sorkin or, you know, somebody good.

There's a weird cloud around you when you're recognizable. It was a brief window for me. I think you have to have a pathological need for attention of any type, negative or positive, to thrive in that kind of situation. And I only want compliments.

There's probably no experience more alienating than fame, other than a terminal illness, where you actually find yourself in a situation that nobody around you can relate to.

Judy Blume excels at describing how it feels to be invisible. So how poetic is it that Blume herself is suddenly everywhere?

It's actually much harder to develop a TV show than I had anticipated.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

There's something magical about spending a Sunday night watching real people at a deli, then watching fake people pretending to be real on TV, then engaging in (arguably) false interaction with (arguably) real people on the Internet. Never at any prior point in time has this been possible.

For me, I am a huge fan of Sofia Coppola and Lynn Shelton. I love Lena Dunham, like everybody else. I love Kathryn Bigelow.

Even though I am in this weird position of being a semi-recognizable screenwriter, which isn't that common, at the same time, I'm not an actress. I'm pretty isolated.

You make a first impression and people never forget it. If people want to think of me as the wacky 'Juno' lady forever, I could think of worse ways to be labeled.

I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide.

I've always been a writer, I've always been a storyteller, but I never thought about screenwriting.

Hollywood is a perpetual summerland, a temperate, godless yaw where the very word 'season' has been co-opted by television executives. There are few harbingers of winter here.

When I was a kid, I attended a small Catholic school in a south suburb of Chicago.

The public's appetite for frothy, flippant blondes has waned, but Paris Hilton still fascinates me.

Tabloid photos capture people at their most self-conscious and disoriented; in real life, Paris Hilton is like an elegant paper crane.

The fashion industry isn't merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn't wearing ridiculously tight pants.

If I want to get a taste of beach culture, I'll fire up my season 2 DVD of 'Beverly Hills, 90210.'

As a kid, I spent every summer bent over a stack of books, obsessively writing detailed reports on each one.

I've been watching 'American Idol' since its debut season in 2002. Back then, America hadn't yet evolved into a gladiatorial cybernation of bloggers, tweeters, and self-ordained voice coaches.

My boyfriend is Italian and from New Jersey, so naturally he was thrilled to meet Joe Pesci.

But here is the single greatest thing about the 'Vanity Fair' party: There are uniformed In-N-Out Burger employees circulating the room with trays of cheeseburgers all night long.

Couture gowns are like gremlins; you can't expose them to bright light or get them wet.

Fact: The new '90210' is cooler than the old '90210.' It's the lithe, streamlined Skipper to the elder series' venerable Barbie. Gone are the traditional parents - they've been replaced by a hipster mom n' pop who get busted necking in the car.

Let it be said that the makeup artist at '90210' made me look better for the fake red carpet than I've ever looked on an actual red carpet.

I normally ignore the History Channel.

I think I might be one of the only people in America, or at least the only person I know, who saw both 'The Dark Knight' and 'Mamma Mia!' on their shared opening weekend.

Personally, I consider 'Titanic' the most brilliant example of successful counterprogramming; the film actually countered itself by embedding an epic chick flick within a classic disaster movie.

Now '90210' is returning with an all-new cast of slightly more plausible teens. I'll be honest: I wish the old cast was back. Ideally, this spin-off would be an Ice Storm-esque exploration of the West Beverly gang's bleak adult lives.

I've been meaning to write about the Rolling Stones, but I am the furthest thing from a hipster rock journalist.

These days, the Rolling Stones still have an edge, but that fangs-out ferocity has mellowed considerably.

Whether it's a blatant homage or unconscious mimicry, the Rolling Stones have permanently, indelibly influenced how rock stars look and behave.

I myself identify as a recovering Blockhead. You'd be surprised how many twenty- and thirty-something hipster chicks have the NKOTB skeleton in their closet, albeit artfully concealed by stacks of Ksubi skinny jeans and ironic Judas Priest T-shirts.

I write small and weird. Romcoms are not in my skill set.

I had gone to the bookstore, and while I hadn't bought any books on how to write a screenplay, I'd bought a couple of scripts so I could see how the formatting works. I just needed to know how a Hollywood screenplay looked on the page, which was something I was totally unfamiliar with.

For me, writing essays, prose and fiction is a great way to be self-indulgent.

The fact is, when I wrote 'Juno' - and I think this is part of its charm and appeal - I didn't know how to write a movie. And I also had no idea it was going to get made!

I don't have a terrible singing voice, but I also wouldn't call it 'good.' I can carry a tune.

Well, to aspiring writers, I would tell them that we live in a wonderful time where you're able to make your work visible, easily.

In our personal and professional lives, we are constantly hit with one adversity after the other, most of which we have no control over. But the four things we have total control over is how we react, how we adapt, how we breathe, and how we take action.

I used to run a night club in Fort Myers, Florida called Norma Jean's Dance Club. That was the hottest spot from Sarasota to Cuba.

In living life at 90 percent, the formula is life is 10 percent of what happens to you and 90 percent of how you react to it.

If you say 'I can't,' you'd better add on 'yet.' Once you start to change that inner dialogue, things that would seem completely impossible become possible.

If you say you can or if you say you can't... you're right.

I'm always like Mickey Mouse with tattoos.

Bottom line is, work ethic equals dreams, and I am walking proof that that's a fact.

Nobody can pull you down more than you.