I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be interesting when you're doing it?

Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else's words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It's the most narcissistic thing you could probably do.

E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

There was never a moment when I was like, 'I'm going to enter the public conversation on the importance of female nudity.'

I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com.

Who would marry me anyway? I'm a handful.

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.

If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you really can't bear to talk about her on the weekends.

Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of humor. I mean, let's be honest: she's ridiculous. What is her game plan?

Some people think Hollywood is shallow. I find that it's home.

I definitely don't want to have kids. I don't think I'd be a great mother. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have the time to raise a child.

There's times where you think, 'Gosh, what if nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say?'

I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it.

There's only so much you can say about celebrity, obviously.

I thought I'd become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.

Some people have a phobia of midgets. They're, like, scared of them. I have the opposite - I see them, and I want to hold them down, cuddle them, be like, 'Come here, you little nugget. Who's your mommy now?' So cute!

My position as the best-selling author at E! is secure - unless Salman Rushdie develops a show with them.

I remember having a conversation with my sister, saying, 'What if I don't make it? What if I'm still waiting tables when I'm 35?' I was just at the end of my rope. But I've been at the end of that rope several times.

You can act, or you can't. I'm sure a lot of people who are serious about acting would disagree, but I'm not really worried about them.

I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities.

We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious?

Network TV is so limiting. There are so many parameters.

I started my own business because my parents had no dowry for me, and I was worried. I ran it from their Martha Vineyard's summer house. I baby-sat for a 14-year-old boy all summer and was giving him time-outs, even though I was two years younger than him.

My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.

I once waited on a group of 10 people, and one guy collected the money from the check and tipped me $20 on $600. I told him in front of everyone, 'Jews like you give Jews like me a bad name.' That was my last waitressing job.

TMZ is so disgusting.

I think pregnancy is a huge responsibility.

Personally, I'd have a baby just for the epidural.

Can you imagine peaking as a teen? I think if you peak in high school, there's a problem. That's what my sister always said: 'Don't worry, you'll peak later.'

I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss.

I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly. I have good days and bad days, and I like when I'm fit and lean and all of those things that any woman likes, but it's not the eye of the hurricane for me.

The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.

I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.

I wanted to be famous. It's embarrassing to admit, but I came out to L.A. thinking it would happen in no time. I thought, 'Once they see me, they'll be so glad I came.' I always had a ridiculous amount of self-confidence about what was going to happen to me.

Once you've achieved success, and you're making decisions that are working, I don't understand why anyone would be second-guessing themselves.

I like the minute when I can get off the stage and go home, and I know I've done a good job.

I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.

In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante.

If you're really looking to hurt somebody's feelings, just break up with them.

Black women are the most passionate commentators, and even as black female geeks and nerds, they are rarely acknowledged.

All black art is always judged to illuminate our experience and prove that our stories and our history and our lives matter. And that goes back to Ralph Ellison, James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Zora Neale Hurston - take your pick.

My grandfather was a Tuskegee Airman. He flew with the 100th Fighter Squadron.

Human sexuality is not always about being labeled. It's about having a human moment, an emotion.

I just always feel that any black art should address our perpetual struggle for progress and freedom, period. There's no way around it. The thing is you can never predict what the next injustice is going to be. Unfortunately, it's part of being black and conscious in America.

The reason I keep making so many musical metaphors with 'Luke Cage' is that I don't view it as much a television show as I do a concept album with dialogue.

The power that you have as a storyteller is to be able to tell stories that are at once entertaining but also never lose sight of what's going on in the real world.

Even though I'm not Jamaican, I've always loved Jamaican culture because, to me, it's the island of magic, it's the island of politics, of resistance.