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The cool thing about going to Vegas is that it's kind of like visiting a bunch of cities all at one time. All the shows and great restaurants leave you with a lot of options.
I was born in Honduras, and everything there is really chill, and people don't worry about having to get something overnighted by FedEx. Maui has that same sort of vibe, but everyone speaks English.
Shows I've done in war zones are the greatest. The first time I was in Iraq, I kid you not, I felt so uncomfortable having the troops say, 'Thank you.' It's so deep and heartfelt.
I'm just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don't have words for it. It's so overwhelming.
I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.
People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can't really claim surprise.
I love to go on the field, and I want to score 100 goals every game, if I can. But it's also my job, and when I finish my job, I have a life. I have a family.
When I'm working, I want to be the best. But when I'm out, I don't want to watch games. I don't want to talk with everybody about football. I want to talk about life - about anything else.
For me it's like really exciting to see all my fans showing this love to me. So it's a responsibility to me to go out there every game and try to be a good player try to show good things because my fans expect that I do something special.
I've never gone against any manager, nor have I talked badly about any coach, I've always thrown myself at any challenge handed to me and tried to understand and learn.
I see something that I don't like, I prefer not to participate and say, 'Look, I'll leave you to it, I wish you the best, a lot of luck and I support you, but I don't want to be there.'
Obviously, playing in a World Cup is always beautiful, helping your team is always cool, but when you don't think it's time, you have a clear conscience.