I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it's pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there.

Whatever a writer gets paid for his book, it's never enough. I think that's true. It's hard work. But in the end, you wrote a book. It's something real and tangible that sits on a shelf forever.

My wife and I, we work together. And we wrote this book, "Dad Is Fat." And in the book, I was encouraged constantly by my editor to be more personal and talk about more personal experiences.

You ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

I was the youngest of the six kids, and to make my older siblings laugh, that was very important. I did a great impression of our dad that made them all laugh, so that gave me a lot of power within the family.

My wife and I, we work together. And we wrote this book, "Dad Is Fat." And in the book, I was encouraged constantly by my editor to be more personal and talk about more personal experiences.

Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.

There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.

The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some creative fulfillment, which you do on a nightly basis as a comedian, it's hard to give that up just to be the wacky neighbor on a show.

Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I'm a dad who had no idea what he's doing.

The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not an exhibitionist like other comics. I'm not up there talking about masturbating.

The idea of having a large family, I definitely had a romantic notion of it.

How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'

I was looking at a bottle of water; they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.

I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.

I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

When I'm in touch with the idea that there is a higher power and that there is, you know, other factors at work, it - it kind of quells my narcissism.

What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.

My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.

You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of - at least for me, there's some kind of idea of control.

Our military, police, and first responders risk their lives to protect ours, and so today - and every day - we should thank those who serve and honor those we've lost.

Work-based learning is a game changer. It's like test driving a career, and I have seen it in action with our registered apprenticeship programs for high school students.

The fact is we can't prevent people from getting the COVID-19 virus.

Whether it was investing in a strong workforce, leading the charge to protect our children or voting to balance our budget, I've seen Ashley Hinson step up and work tirelessly in the state legislature to fight for Iowans.

The power of prayer and faith in God is something that has guided so many of us in good times and bad.

We have all been impacted by COVID-19. Some of us have lost a loved one and others know those who are sick.

My message is that it's never too late. If it's something you want to do or if it's important to you, go for it.

We will maintain and honor the commitments made to people in the IPERS system.

There is no civil discourse left and it is really sad.

I was raised to pay respect to the flag. That is a symbol that stands for the men and women who have put their life on the line to protect the liberty and freedom that we have an opportunity to enjoy every single day.

Part of being a successful leader is listening and looking for opportunities to bring people together.

Broadband is not a luxury; it's critical infrastructure.

If there is one thing that COVID-19 has shown us, it's the little things that we likely took for granted that made our lives seem normal.

Never in my wildest dreams did I believe a young girl growing up in St. Charles, Ia., would one day receive a call from Terry Branstad asking her to be his lieutenant governor.

I'm not about change for the sake of change, but we should always be evaluating any initiative we're working on to see if we can do it better.

I'm a pretty good listener.

In a small town, residents don't wait for the government or far-flung strangers to take care of their ailing neighbors; they do it themselves. When a farmer gets sick, the community drops everything to harvest his crops.

Volunteering is as Iowan as pork chop on a stick at the State Fair.

I'm not one to be satisfied.

Iowa truly is a place where if you work hard, dream big, anything is possible.

Both parties recognize the fundamental danger the country's debt poses to our nation's future, but President Obama's policies have not reflected that reality. By the end of his first term, his administration will have nearly doubled our public debt.

You have to be careful about measuring the quality of education by the sheer number of dollars that you put into it.

We know the job market is changing by the minute.

In Iowa, we're fortunate to have a public-private initiative called the EPIC Corporate Challenge. EPIC stands for 'Economic Potential for Iowa Companies and Communities.'

In an increasingly volatile and uncertain world, the men and women of the Iowa National Guard play a vital role in overseas contingency operations, domestic response missions and aggressive training exercises to remain a ready and reliable force.

I'm proud to be pro-life.