I love fat people. Every fat person says it's not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland.

You can't put civil rights on the ballot.

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen.

We're the Fascist States of America today, not the United States of America, because the corporations are in power.

I'm against the draft. I believe we should have a professional military; it might be smaller, but it would be more effective.

Tell the truth because then you don't have to have a good memory.

Government has no place telling you who to fall in love with and who to marry.

When you reach a certain age in life, time becomes more important than money, and I think that happens in your 50s.

Okay, fluoride in the water to help our teeth. Well, shouldn't that be the job of your mom and dad? To teach you how to brush your teeth and use mouth wash? What do we need the government to do it for? Clearly, what a scam. Fluoride in the water.

I asked Dalai Lama the most important question that I think you could ask - if he had ever seen Caddyshack.

There are lots of people out there who think they know the truth about God and religion, but does anybody really know for sure? That's why the founding fathers built freedom of religious belief into the structure of this nation, so that everybody could make up their minds for themselves.

I like surfing in Mexico a whole lot better than sitting with people in Washington that I don't even like.

I'm kind of like Che Guevera. I lead the revolution, but at some point I turn it over to someone else.

I live in Mexico in the wintertime, and I live off the grid down there.

The news used to be to report facts and allow you to make the decision.

The thing is, and Americans are starting to realize this now, that while street gangs are violent, the Democrats and Republicans are worse. They are worse because their decisions affect your life.

Students often approached me about state-paid tuition while I was out campaigning. After I explained to them that if the state pays their tuition now, they will pay higher taxes to pay other people's tuition for the rest of their lives, most of them ended up agreeing with me.

I will not be a Democrat or a Republican. They are the problem, not the solution. We need to abolish political parties in this country.

The Constitution guarantees us our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That's all. It doesn't guarantee our rights to charity.

I'm an equal opportunity despiser.

A war is justified if you're willing to send your son. If you're not willing to send your son, then how do you send someone else's?

If you're smart enough to go to college, you should be smart and creative enough to pay for it.

When the Constitution gave us the right to bear arms, it also made us responsible for using them properly. It's not fair of us as citizens to lean more heavily on one side of that equation than on the other.

Industrial hemp is a very useful plant. I challenged the attorney general to get rid of the criminal stigma associated with hemp so we can look at it in terms of how it might be useful.

You can have solid third party politics, but the problem is you're all lumped in to all the fringe groups. That's a stereotype that happens.

If the government mandates anything with a price tag on it, then it ought to fund the project.

I believe Lee Harvey Oswald did not kill John Kennedy. I believe that.

Don't vote for a Democrat or Republican, I have never voted for one in my life and I never will.

Remember that government doesn't earn one single dollar it spends. In order for you to get money from the government, that money must first be taken from somebody else.

I decided to run for governor because I got mad... I want to make government more directly accountable to the people.

'The David Letterman Show' is a show of comedy.

I don't believe we need the government's help as much as some think we do. That belief sets me apart from the Democrats, since their way of dealing with everything is to tax and spend.

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.

Jobs are created in the private sector. Not by the president or the government unless they're government jobs.

I think a person who is disabled should be disabled by no act of their own. If you become disabled because of alcoholism, drugs, or things of that nature, I do not think those conditions qualify someone to be called disabled. I think those conditions result from personal decisions.

If I were an innocent individual, flown to a foreign country and held for several years and tortured, I'd become a terrorist, too. I'd go to war against the U.S.

Wrestling is ballet with violence.

There's nothing glamorous about war at all.

Democrats are so spineless, so afraid to go against the tide... but dissension is the greatest form of patriotism.

I'm not allowed on FOX, and I'm not allowed on MSNBC.

Let's remember, the CIA's job is to go out and create wars.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life in politics. When I'm finished with my term as governor, I'm going back to the life that's waiting for me in the private sector.

The SuperPACs and the Citizens United ruling that gives corporations a voice in the political process are all bad news. They made it so you can now lie, and the politician being promoted on that lie will not be held responsible for it.

Liberty is security. Freedom is security.

I could never be a career politician, because I believe in telling the truth.

When you live in Mexico, your houses all have names.

Let me say this: I'm paranoid of the government. They've lost my trust. They've lied to me so many times that I don't know what to believe from them anymore.

I don't oppose hunting in any way, shape or form. If that's what you enjoy doing, you are free to do it.

I don't take PAC money. I don't take special interest money.

My four years as governor, I never met with a lobbyist once, never. Not one lobbyist got in my office.