Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject matter.

Nuanced debate can't stand up to a guy who's calling women pigs and retweeting white supremacists.

U.S.A. Today is what happens when the coupon section takes over the newspaper.

I had a huge Indian wedding, and I did it for my wife, and I did it for my white friends.

I'd rather be an angry optimist than an angry nihilist.

One thing I found very interesting about comedians around the world was their knowledge of stuff outside of their own culture and comfort zone. That's not very common in the States. We produce our own soft power, which is pop culture, but we rarely try to absorb and learn information from other cultures and countries.

I feel like we have so much to add to this book called the American Dream, and I want to add our chapter to it. I want to talk about what it means to be brown American and this concept of what I feel is the New Brown America.

I was actually a really sort of nervous, shy kid. In high school, it was one of those things where I wasn't popular or a loser; I just don't think many people really knew who I was.

Sean Spicer has somehow been doing PR since 1999, which is 18 years. Somehow, after 18 years, his go-to move was denying the Holocaust.

It is 2017, and we are living in the golden age of lying.

I've found the 90-10 rule to be pretty true: 90 percent of what I come up with and write down is kinda 'eh,' and then somehow, someway, 10 percent of it happens to work out really great in my act.

My goal is just to continue to find mediums to tell stories that I think need to be told.

Growing up in the States, there's this part of me that's like, man, I'm Indian. Like, this is where I belong. And as soon as I got to India, and I had to go to the bathroom in some places, I was, like, 'Man - I am American.'

Donald Trump is not a 71-year-old white man. He is an Indian uncle. He wears suits that don't fit; he can't speak English properly. He works with his idiotic sons; he hates women but loves his daughter. He makes up words when he gets angry. He is an Indian uncle.

What I love about comedy is that we're this group of weirdos, and the only language that matters is, 'Are you funny?' And it really is this oddly cool American idea where comedy's the marketplace of ideas. May the best idea win.

As a Muslim, I like to watch Fox News for the same reason I like to play 'Call of Duty.' Sometimes, I like to turn my brain off and watch strangers insult my family and heritage.

Jokes for jokes' sake are kind of meaningless to me. I understand the value of them, but it doesn't speak to me as much. You can lace your argument with jokes, but tell me why you're presenting this argument. What does it mean?

I'm a first-generation kid in this country. I so identify with America and its culture. I'm a citizen, I was born here. I'm American. At the same time, like most first-generation kids, I have this other identity to another country back home, which is India.

Only in America can the first-generation Indian American Muslim kid get on the stage and make fun of the president.

A lot of times, especially when it comes to political debates, people get caught up in esoteric statistics. So the realest thing I can do that has nothing to do with numbers is tell you my personal experience.

If it's just me on stage telling stories for, like, an hour, that's great. That's fine. But like a sandcastle on the beach, it gets washed away at night. It's so much more powerful if we can all share our narratives and doorstep moments and make us feel a little less alone. I'm just trying to use social media and new media as a way to capture that.

This first-generation narrative keeps happening over and over and over again, whether it was Irish or Jewish or our community, South Asians, Japanese-Americans, Mexican-Americans. We've all gone through this sort of bridge, and it will continue to happen.

I'm addicted to chocolate chip cookies. I mean that seriously. If there are chocolate chip cookies, I will devour them.

I've learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you're trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, 'This sounds funny,' and going from there.

The movies 'Dope' and 'Straight Outta Compton' blew me away. I love seeing directors and writers of color make amazing slices of pop culture.

Political culture has become popular culture.

When you can tailor your act, you want it to be about yourself but also about the people in the room and the experience you guys are having in that moment; it is really a special thing.

The 'Homecoming King' show started off as a storytelling show that I had done; I worked with Greg Walloch to develop it and build it into something bigger.

You can hear my opinion on various subjects, but telling my story is the most authentic thing I can do. There's nothing more powerful I can share with an audience.

Everybody's past and history informs them.

The traditional Hollywood system is pretty rigid, but the film scene in, say, South Africa is booming with a lot of possibilities. If you have the cameras and reasonable capital, you can put your film in theatres next to 'Guardians of the Galaxy.' A great example of that was Kagiso Lediga's film 'Blitz Patrole.'

If you want a great replacement, like, who can follow Barack and still have that swag, that charisma, that charm and be historic - I think it would be Tina Fey for president.

Aditi is a comedy superstar over in India. She's only one of three female English-speaking comedians in India.

'Shantaram' is fantastic. An Australian prisoner escapes & joins the mafia in India? Sign me up. I love stuff that is based on true stories.

A lot of people in the media say that Donald Trump goes golfing too much, which raises a very important question: Why do you care? Do you want to know what he's not doing when he's golfing? Being president. Let the man putt-putt!

Donald Trump is liar-in-chief.

Donald Trump doesn't care about free speech. The man who tweets everything that enters his head doesn't care about the amendment which lets him do that.

Every time Trump goes golfing, the headline should read, 'Trump Goes Golfing. Apocalypse Delayed.'

Everything isn't breaking news. You can't go to DEFCON One just because Sanjay Gupta found a new moisturizer.

Every time a U.S.A. Today slides underneath my door, it's like they're saying, 'Hey, you're not that smart, right?'

Sean Spicer gives press briefings like someone is going through his browser history while he watches.

I look like a melanin version of Chris Hayes.

Even the president is not beyond the reach of the First Amendment.

Free speech is the foundation of an open and liberal democracy from college campuses to the White House.

'CNN Tonight' should just be called 'Wait a second! Now hold on! Stop yelling at each!' with Don Lemon.

People still assume the White House Correspondents' Association works for the White House, when in reality, it's a group of journalists who cover the White House. It's a branding thing, but because it has the 'White House' before it, people think they're just King Joffrey's goons.

The news is best when it's serious.

Whoever has the best take is what matters. My challenge is finding the best take, and it'll always be that.

My mom worked at the VA for years, so any time I can do anything to help, it's a must.

Dick Gregory and Richard Pryor laid the groundwork for us as Indian-Americans. How can we add our story to their groundwork is the question.