Everything I've performed has been from my own head.

After over 50 years of headlining, I've been received very beautifully. But I always say, when you're onstage, you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's OK.

I don't practice or write stuff down - everything I do onstage was just made up before I went on.

Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, 'How many more years do I have on this earth?' But I can't really conceive of dying.

I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy.

Sometimes, I knew generally what I was going to do, but I've never written anything down. Call it a sixth sense: the lines just come.

I used to work over a bar. That was - there was no stage. I stood over a tiny bar. Louis Prima, rest his soul, he worked there. I was the guy that filled in when he was off the stage.

I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.

Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports.

What keeps me going is that young people still want to see me.

At 90, I'm still working a couple of dates a month. My mind is very sharp on the stage, so why not? This may sound corny, but I do it because people - young and old - still come to see me, and they're very enthusiastic about my work. They treat me like the Godfather.

Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion.

One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business.

My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.

I can get an audience screaming in Las Vegas and say, 'Barbara, that was a great show,' and she'll say, 'Would you please hurry up? We have dinner reservations at 9:30.'

To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller.

So, I'm on the satellite every Sunday, no matter where we are, with the Rams. Turn on the satellite; got to watch the Rams.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star.

I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.

It's tough having the last name 'Rickles.' Luckily, my kids handled it great.

You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter.

I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me.

If you want to be the best, you've got to beat the best. The only problem is when I get that belt, who's going to be left to fight? That's what I want to know.

You don't have to get ready if you stay ready, alright? I'm always in the gym, always training, all the time.

The only thing I can do is fight. Win or lose, I'm here every damn time.

I live a wild and crazy life.

I thought I would be laying hardwood floors in Colorado - a construction worker. Middle class or working class, that's where I was! I just fought because I loved it. It was so fun! Being able to go in there and outthink your opponents.

I'm not trying to be anything other than the way I was born and raised.

The opponent never matters to me. That's something I've always said.

I eat a lot of candy. I can't survive without candy.

I just fell in love with the cowboy way of life.

Sometimes you just don't show up, and in our profession, it's a bad day.

Bull riding is fun, but fighting is it.

Put 'Cowboy' on every card. I'd be ready to go.

Jose Aldo, he's a stud, and I would be honored to be in there to throw down with him.

I made it this far eating fruit roll-ups and having soda pop and having fun. I feel like I tried changing that to do like everyone says I should, and I just feel better being me.

Who am I to say CM Punk is a joke?

Why not drive a snowmobile? I own an Artic Cat. We bought them because we enjoy doing things like that. I enjoy doing fun things, and that's definitely one of the things.

I don't even know who Michael Chandler is.

It's a relaxed intensity I've got to live my life in.

They aren't going to take my guns. I have 44 guns, and they aren't going to take my guns.

That Evan Dunham fight, I went back to not being serious. I was going to the lake and literally brought some wrestling mats down with me. We have a shop at the lake where we park the boat. I'd throw the mats in there, wakeboard all day, and train all night. I was having a good time, getting back to work.

You ever try to beat your dad up? It just don't happen. He's got that old man strength.

I enjoy fighting. It's one of my favorite things to do in the world, so I'm just enjoying every minute of it.

I took up scuba diving, and my next big thing is BASE jumping.

I've never pulled out of a fight, never not showed up to fight, so injured or not, I'm coming.

People ask me, 'Why don't you take time off?' but the working class doesn't take time off. They're out there working every day. That's what I do, too. I want them to know there is hope, and I'm out there just like they are.

I just love to be out on the lake, wakeboard, surfing, just playing, man.

You're not just top-10 UFC because you suck.