I've won several Emmys, a Tony and a Grammy, so maybe somebody will let me have an Oscar, and then I'll have a full set.

My favorite unknown movie is 'The Comic.'

I went from my mother to my wife. And to this day, I can't bear to be alone.

'Mary Poppins' was one of the best experiences of my life.

They did ask me to do 'Dancing With The Stars;' I said I can do one show, but on that show you have to come up with a new number every week, and I told them that I think I'm a little past that stage.

I sing and dance. That's my job.

'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the most fun I ever had and the most creative period of my life.

I was the worst game show host that ever lived, and I knew it.

I've been talking about retiring for years. It's my standard answer to the question, 'What are your future plans?' The truth is, I'll always want to do things that are worthwhile or fun.

I do miss the rhythms of comedy. And I've never been able to perform very well without an audience. The sitcoms I've done had them. It was like doing a little play.

Rob Petrie is who I really am - in personality and general ineffectiveness.

I never had a lot of drive, but because I had family responsibilities, I had a lot of tenacity - the tenacity of a drowning man.

When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.

One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel, Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. I went over there and spent the afternoon with them. And pumped him with questions. I must have driven him crazy. I spent a lot of happy hours at Stan's house on Sundays just talking about comedy.

When I get some budding young comic who'll come up to me and say, 'What was it like to do it in those days?' I try to be as gracious to him as Stan Laurel was to me.

All of us involved say 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the best five years of our lives. We were like otters at play.

I watch 'Al Jazeera.' They have news that you can't find anywhere else. They do great documentaries, too.

I get little kids who recognize me from 'Mary Poppins,' and it just delights me because it's our third generation.

My wife, as proud as she was of me, hated show business for good reasons. There was something about the spouse always being pushed out of the way, shoved aside. She wanted to get away from it.

I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show.

Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.

Emotionally, I'm about 13.

I've always been a bit of an orphan, because actors say, 'Well, he's more of a dancer.' And dancers say, 'No. He's really a singer.' And singers say, 'No. He's an actor.'

My career is over. I'm just playing now and having a great time. I like to keep busy, and I'm doing what's fun for me.

In the best of all worlds, the producers would take some responsibility for the kinds of things they're putting out. Unfortunately, they don't.

I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind.

I didn't even start dancing until I was in my thirties, and it was like flying.

In Bernie Sanders, I see a man saying that the emperor has no clothes while everyone around him insists they see clothes. Whether or not he makes it to the White House, I hope and pray that everyone hears the alarm he is sounding now; it may be the last voice we ever hear.

Somebody sent me a British magazine listing the 20 worst dialects ever done in movies. I was No. 2, with the worst Cockney accent ever done. No. 1 was Sean Connery, because he uses his Scottish brogue no matter what he's playing.

It's more in my nature to be optimistic, I think. I'm one of those people who gets up on the right side of the bed in the morning.

Everyone should dance. And everyone should sing. People say, 'Well, I can't sing.' Everybody can sing. That you do it badly is no reason not to sing.

I have a beautiful, young wife who sings and dances, so there's a lot of duetting going on at my house.

Once you're dead, your worries are over.

A lot of actors seem to dislike typecasting these days. The funny thing is, that's a fairly recent development. It used to be that actors wanted to be typecast so audiences could remember them and identify with them.

Working with my son was like falling off a log. I had so much fun doing it.

I cannot live alone.

The thing I'm most proud of is my family, the way they've turned out.

All that nipping and tucking doesn't make you look younger - only stranger.

There are no sure answers, only better questions.

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

I'm kind of proud of being a love child.

Unfortunately, the spouses of performers have a terrible, terrible life. They get shunted aside, pushed aside, ignored.

Divorce is something that I never dreamed would happen to me. But it did.

I'm a very neat person.

I love musicals, but I find it's just so deadening. You know, 30 takes, you do a little piece here and a little piece there. There's hours and hours of waiting. And to me, that's as far away from real performance as you can get.

My memory's not too good.

I'm the Steven Spielberg of Malibu.

The years have been just full of surprises for me, and a lot of fun.

I swim, go to the gym, and do a little dancing every day and a little singing.

My life has been a magnificent indulgence.