I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.

I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.

I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.

The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it's very hard to keep that interesting.

There are times I felt insecure or not sure: I'm unsure of myself, or I get nervous, but nerves are good. I try and embrace all those things. I try and embrace the times where I'm not sure of myself or I'm like, 'Is this going to work? Is this going to land?'

Every time I had a book come out, I'm like, 'Is it going to be number one?'

I don't think I'm a good host. I'm not a good host. I'm terrible at hosting. That's my problem.

Seeing your parents fall apart is really rough. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.

There's a lot of pretty funny women out there.

I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

It takes me a while to get my appetite going when I wake up early.

I was broke from 19 to 26, borrowing money from my parents or my brothers or sisters every week to pay the bills.

Jews are underdogs - not in my world, obviously, they're not.

I encourage interoffice romance.

That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.

I like to celebrate my life. I have a life that I'm really lucky to have, and so I want to make sure every minute counts and that I go on great vacations and I share my memories with people that I love and that will make me laugh and lalalalalala.

I like being able to, you know, pack up and leave the country and hop on a plane and go wherever I want and stay wherever and bring my friends with me and bring my family on vacation. That's amazing.

If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.

I was the youngest of six kids, and my brothers and sisters were kind of a lot older than me. And the one sister that was, like, in a close age range - she was five years older than me. She was my closest sister in age, and she was a loser.

MTV is known for their huge budget.

I'm not superstitious at all. I'm not a Russian.

I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.

I like to have a home for people just to have a lot of fun.

I don't have a lot of shame. That doesn't mean I can't feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don't have a lot of guilt, no. I've always been this way. I'm missing a chip.

I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view.

I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me.

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

The whole point of remaining on cable is to remain true to who I am. That's a bad, bad girl that got a big job.

I think you do need two terms as a president.

I have a huge impact with young girls. Young women. That's my demographic.

Some men are just disgusted with me and think I should have my mouth sewn shut.

Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'

Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult.

I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be interesting when you're doing it?

Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else's words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It's the most narcissistic thing you could probably do.

E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

There was never a moment when I was like, 'I'm going to enter the public conversation on the importance of female nudity.'

I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com.

Who would marry me anyway? I'm a handful.

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.

If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you really can't bear to talk about her on the weekends.

Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of humor. I mean, let's be honest: she's ridiculous. What is her game plan?

Some people think Hollywood is shallow. I find that it's home.

I definitely don't want to have kids. I don't think I'd be a great mother. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have the time to raise a child.