I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.

Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.

Don't be silly and don't waste your time.

Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.

I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.

I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.

All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.

There are some actresses that can't do comedy; it's too heavy-handed.

I don't have a stack of scripts that, when I get home, studios are clamoring, saying, 'Has Bob read ours yet?'

I think there's a little confusion between humor and 'gross' passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable, because they aren't the same thing.

Richard Pryor introduced me to the world of the inner city, and the urban world, and did it hysterically. My favorite comedian, even though we work 180 degrees differently, but funny is funny is funny.

I have no intention of retiring; I can't imagine not doing stand-up. That's where I started and where I'll be.

Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.'

I have to warn you, I'm not just some sitcom guy. I'm now an author.

There was a sea of change in comedy in the late 1950s and '60s. We were dealing with vignettes as opposed to jokes. We were more socially aware.

One time I happened to use the word 'denigrate' onstage, and it didn't get any reaction. So as I continued my act, the left side of my brain was fast-forwarding to see if I had any other big words coming up.

It's kind of hard coming from 'Saturday Night Live,' which is a sketch-driven show, to a movie.

I don't know how to do a show not in front of a live audience.

I think the thing about it is when you grow up in Chicago there's such a thing as putting on airs, you know? And you just learn not to put on airs. Don't act like, 'Oh boy, I'm somebody.' They'll slap you down.

The first time I heard Richard Pryor, I knew he would be a major force in the world of comedy.

I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But I don't.

The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.

I didn't know I was cool, but I was very flattered that some of the younger comedy writers came up to talk to me at the Emmys. I found that gratifying.

I don't want to sound like the old guy, but cynicism is a potential danger. It colors our way of looking at the world.

There is an edginess in my work that people don't always recognize.

Stand-up is different from television. In stand-up, you've got to be in control.

I don't think of myself as an American Master. I've just been making a living.

I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.

Chuck Lorre and I had been talking about doing one of his shows for a while. I said I'd like to do 'The Big Bang Theory,' because I think it's the best written, most intelligent show on television.

You're not dead at 85. You're a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You've earned it.

No matter what hyenas sound like, they are not actually laughing.

The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

I certainly don't delude myself that there aren't certainly more important things to do in life than make people laugh, but I can't imagine anything that would bring me more joy.

Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time.

I was very political when JFK ran.

I've had time off, and it drove me nuts. I was crawling up the wall.

I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work. Then I would go back and do whatever. But at least I wouldn't torture myself the rest of my life, wondering whatever would have happened.

For a comedian, there is nothing better than watching another great comedian.

When I started, I was doing all the good comedians I'd ever seen. Then I developed my own voice. My routines are my natural way of looking at the world.

With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'

A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive.

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.

When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's nothing out there for us.'

I just don't think most people put myself and Robert Frost in the same category.

The highest of highs is to have a new routine that you're just breaking in and that's working, and that's - you're one step removed doing a situation comedy because you have a live audience there.

Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.

If 'The New York Times' says it, it must be true.