Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith. For without fear of the devil there is no need for God.

I admit I'm being paid well, but it's no more than I deserve. After all, I've been screwed more times than a hooker.

I unfortunately don't speak French, but my wife is now fluent in English, which really reflects rather badly on me.

I left Scotland when I was 16 because I had no qualifications for anything but the Navy, having left school at 13.

When you hear someone from the very north of Scotland speaking, I think its nice, very musical and harmonious.

A man who fears nothing is a man who loves nothing; and if you love nothing, what joy is there in your life?

May God grant us the wisdom to discover right, the will to choose it, and the strength to make it endure.

I'm an actor - it's not brain surgery. If I do my job right, people won't ask for their money back.

When he reached the New World, Cortés burned his ships. As a result his crew was well-motivated.

There's a lot of fantasy about what Scotland is, and the shortbread tins and that sort of thing.

If anything could have pulled me out of retirement it would have been an Indiana Jones film.

Only 4 percent of all the companies owned in Scotland have their head offices in Scotland.

If you fear nothing, you love nothing. If you love nothing, what joy can there be in life?

The terrible beauty is that in the brotherhood of golf we are all the same - certifiable.

Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.

There's one major difference between James Bond and me. He is able to sort out problems!

Don't wait for it to happen, don't even want it to happen - just watch what does happen.

If America had been discovered as many times as I have, no one would remember Columbus.

Be careful what you shoot at . . . most things in here don't react too well to bullets.

I've never really fancied Mexican food. A taco rather minds me of a puncture outfit.

Scotland should be nothing less than equal with all the other nations of the world.

I still pay full tax when I work in England and the same when I work in America.

Perhaps I'm not a good actor, but I would be even worse at doing anything else.

How peaceful life would be without love. How safe, how tranquil and how dull.

Your background and environment is with you for life. No question about that.

To cultivate an English accent is already a departure away from what you are.

The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.

I hope to work, support my children and die quietly without pain.

I find if I just sit down and think, a solution presents itself.

I just think the most difficult thing to displace is privilege.

I have always hated that damn James Bond. I'd like to kill him.

I take the good with the bad. I can't love people in slices.

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots.

I am not a politician and I have no intention of being one.

Red wine with fish. That should have told me something.

If you have to resort to violence, you've already lost.

If you can't do it with one bullet, don't do it at all.

I like women. I don't understand them, but I like them.

Nothing is impossible, only mathematically improbable.

It's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then.

There's always a new challenge to keep you motivated.

I'm an easy target because of my political opinions.

Personally I give us . . . one chance of three.

I suppose I'll be able to get a drink there.

Sometimes a woman just needs to be slapped.

My boy, we are pilgrims in an unholy land.

I never trashed a hotel room or did drugs.

I met my wife through playing golf. She is French and couldn't speak English and I couldn't speak French, so there was little chance of us getting involved in any boring conversations - that's why we got married really quickly.

Most movies shot in Italian don't even bother to record the sound. In fact, sometimes when Fellini works, he doesn't even know what the dialogue is going to be, and he simply has his characters count from 1 to 10, knowing he will loop in their dialogue later.

After I began to make some money, my brain-damaged accountant put me in one business after another that went bad. The only one that panned out was a small bank, an old Scottish firm with London offices in Pall Mall. I was a director. We sold out to a larger bank. That was the only successful venture I've had, apart from acting.