"The sweetest memory is that which involves something which one should not have done; the bitterest, that which involves something which one should not have done, and which one did not do."

"A poet, any real poet, is simply an alchemist who transmutes his cynicism regarding human beings into an optimism regarding the moon, the stars, the heavens, and the flowers, to say nothing of Spring, love, and dogs."

"Men go to the theatre to forget; women, to remember."

"All one has to do to gather a large crowd in New York is to stand on the curb a few minutes and gaze intently at the sky."

"A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart."

"Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn't understand, he wants to know if she's tired."

"So long as there is one pretty girl left on the stage, the professional undertakers may hold up their burial of the theater."

"It is only the cynicism that is born of success that is penetrating and valid."

"I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink."

"Criticism is the windows and chandeliers of art: it illuminates the enveloping darkness in which art might otherwise rest only vaguely discernible, and perhaps altogether unseen."

"Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men."

"To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination."

"One does not go to the theater to see life and nature; one goes to see the particular way in which life and nature happen to look to a cultivated, imaginative and entertaining man who happens, in turn, to be a playwright."

"Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men."

"To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination."

"One does not go to the theater to see life and nature; one goes to see the particular way in which life and nature happen to look to a cultivated, imaginative and entertaining man who happens, in turn, to be a playwright."

"It is the mark of a superior person that, left to themselves they are able endlessly to amuse, interest and entertain themselves out of their personal stock of meditations, ideas, criticisms, memories, philosophy, humor and what not."