"Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet."

"Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose, and terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point."

"My views about God come from my dad. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included humankind, to be so beautiful, so magnificent, that there had to be something behind it all."

"I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit."

"I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do."

"My dad was a terrible businessman."

"Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy."

"Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum."

"I got interested in politics during the civil rights movement and then Vietnam."

"I couldn't think of anything less appealing than molding the minds of tomorrow's leaders."

"Sometimes if I tell people, 'I'm afraid that I'm really a fraud,' or 'I have a lot of self-doubt,' they go, 'Oh, no, you're kidding.' I go, 'No, I'm really honest.'"

"People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values."

"I don't know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can't see it."

"The way I see it, I'm not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I'm going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota."

"If you use Facebook - as I do - Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd."

"The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations."

"Why don't we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers."

"We need to start by having a conversation about climate change. It would be irresponsible to avoid the issue just because it's uncomfortable to talk about."

"Let's not let the government sell us out. Let's fight for net neutrality."

"If someone hacks your password, you can change it - as many times as you want."

"Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other."

"Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn't do the only job they're supposed to have, the only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products."

"I know I have an awful lot to learn from the people of Minnesota."

"I'm the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota."

"I want to reclaim 'liberal.' I'm a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals."

"I hope you realize, in a democracy, laughter is assent."

"My dad didn't graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year. My mom sold real estate and did it part time."

"My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett."

"If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor."

"I am a Minnesotan, and not just because I root for the Vikings and the Twins. I like the Minnesota-nice sensibility. I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights."

"There's plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it's a serious business."

"When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who need a voice in Minnesota."

"For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren't funny. Some of them weren't appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that."

"There's an appeal to the American sense of exceptionalism, that we're morally superior, as way to not be self-critical. I think that's a bit dangerous."

"If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it'd be a travesty."

"I'm a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I'm invited to all the inaugural balls."

"It's hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it's like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn't go from one to the other."

"I've spent my entire career being a satirist."

"I listen to NPR when I listen to the radio, but I don't listen to the radio that much. You know, I listen to Garrison Keillor, I listen to 'Prairie Home Companion.'"

"There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor."

"It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster."

"Minnesota has a proud tradition of having two Senators on the Ag committee - a tradition I'd like very much to continue."

"We need to prepare our kids for a 21st Century economy, and we're not doing it with our schools."

"The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important 'cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate."

"My parents were really political. The news was very important in our home. We basically had dinner every night while watching the news, and then we'd discuss it with our parents."

"I think Clinton fatigue was a real thing. It's just hard to get comfortable with Gore - it was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private."

"Ralph Nader is a hero. I know Ralph, and I call him up occasionally. He's helped me out on a couple of occasions when I've given speeches to corporations where he'd have a good... He'd give me some good information."

"If we have George W. Bush as president, we're going to go back to the kind of policies we had when his father and Ronald Reagan were president."

"The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone."

"You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny."