If I played badly as a kid, my dad would tell me, and my mum would say, 'You were brilliant today'. It's nice to have both: when I need a bit of confidence, I'll see her, and if I need to hear it straight, I'll see my dad.
The kit man is the heartbeat of the football club, really. He knows the lads. He's usually local, a fan, and he's got his finger on the pulse of the dressing room.
Nothing can prepare you fully for how harsh football fans can be, but it makes you more robust, able to deal with a lot of what is thrown at you in life.
Everyone that I have taken the mick out of, or told a story about, is someone I know properly or someone who has been a team-mate, and I know can take it. I am not stitching anyone up.
I'll have an omelette, porridge, and fruit for breakfast at the training ground, then chicken, pasta and soup for lunch; then I can relax in the evening.
During the Sir Alex Ferguson years, you would see all those great players - Roy Keane, Paul Scholes, David Beckham, Ryan Giggs, Jaap Stam, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Cristiano Ronaldo, to name just a few - and you'd quickly realise why Old Trafford had an aura like nowhere else.
Ronaldo, the Brazilian one - incredible player. I met him once. I was in Ibiza on holiday and quite by chance ran into him in a club. He's the only man I'd go up to and ask for a picture. And I did.
If you're good enough, you're old enough: that's what everyone says. When a talented young player emerges, his age doesn't matter; people want to see him in the team. So why, when you become older, is the assumption that you are no longer good enough?
The thing you don't realise is that every time you head the ball, your brain shakes. Every single time. Have you ever headed a ball badly and seen stars for a couple of seconds? That's your brain shaking. Let's be honest: that can't be healthy, can it?
I can understand why people laugh and make jokes, but I'm comfortable with being this tall. It's not as if I've had a sudden growth spurt. I've always been like this, so I get used to the constant height references.
I don't know why, but if I was walking down the street, the same people who called me freak would probably ask for a picture. It's a real strange thing.
I got booed by my own fans when I came on in my first game for England. You go through things that are ridiculous. But you get to the stage you realise everyone's got an opinion.
Des Bulpin discovered me and, along with my dad, would be the biggest influence on my career. I remember him telling me when I was 15 that Jermain Defoe and I would play together for England when we were older, and he hasn't been too far wrong.
When I was a kid, the FA Cup was the one: it was bigger than the European Cup, even. So to win that, for me, and my dad as well - we used to watch it together - was brilliant.
Even when I was at the top, playing in the Champions League final for Liverpool and playing at the World Cup for England, I've never let it go to my head.
I've got a good record, but maybe, for whatever reason, it's not built up by people. I wouldn't say I'm hard done by. But it's true that I sometimes don't get the praise.
A little voice keeps telling me an Aston Martin really isn't me, but a louder voice is telling me that, as an England international playing for Liverpool, the old rules no longer apply.