I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.

A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.

If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.

It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.

People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door.

It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.

Chinese people age overnight.

They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?

I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.

To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.

Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.

If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.

Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.

That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.

Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?

I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt.

If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.

But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.

I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.

I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.

With acting, I didn't get much from it.

I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.

I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.

I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised.

When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.

I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.

I've got loads of nieces and nephews.

With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?

At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is.

People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.

People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!

Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'

Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.

We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.'

Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.

You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.

You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.

It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.

I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.

I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.

I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.

I've never worried about life's big questions.

I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great.

I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed.

I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.

The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.

Comedy's really subjective, you know.

When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.