QUOTES by Joe Lycett
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
The thing about Birmingham is, no one spends their evening looking over your shoulder thinking: 'Is that Nick Grimshaw?' and wondering if there's a better night they could be on. Because there isn't.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
People say I'm charming, but I'm uneasy with that word. Quentin Crisp said: 'Charisma is the ability to influence without logic,' which is terrifying.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
There's a beautifully simple sketch in the first episode of 'Smack the Pony:' two women approach each other walking their dogs and as they pass the women bark at each other, the dogs remaining perfectly calm. It kills me every time.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
Because lots of LGBTQ people are really smart, and there's so much really interesting reading that can be done, and so much academic writing that's been done about it, people can end up getting quite academic about it.
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I am the promise guardian to a wonderful girl called Grace, a role akin to a godfather but without the Christian responsibilities, as I am a devout Jedi.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
Turns out it's bloody hard to make a sculpture that looks like a human head, so I've not bothered. Realism is for squares.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I get frustrated by the way camp is portrayed sometimes. Camp, for me, is a nice 'everyone is welcome' kind of thing rather than an 'ooh, what's she wearing' kind of thing.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
Best place I've visited is probably Tanzania when I was younger and I'd love to go to America as I haven't been to loads of places there yet.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I did a tweet about LGBTQ+ and someone was saying 'what's the + and what's the Q?' and some people would be like 'you should educate yourself it's disgusting, google it.' If I asked the question, they would answer it to me, so just try and treat people in the way I expect to be treated myself. So I do think that's been a problem in our community.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
There's a viral video of a young girl learning to say 'who' but pronouncing it as 'wah' which I think could be one of the funniest things that has ever happened.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I don't want a little Oliver/Olivia parasite running about eating my biscuits. My friends, on the other hand, are procreating like humanity depends on it, and it doesn't.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I am a rare millennial who managed to buy property thanks to a mix of highly lucrative TV panel show work and employing Gary Barlow as a financial adviser.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
If you organise a dinner party, and two guests cancel, it is still a dinner party: you still get to eat dinner.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
Companies ignoring their customers. I think it's unforgivable. And I count using a chatbot on your website as ignoring your customers. Stop doing it.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I get frustrated with companies that present themselves as your mates. They use emojis in the messages they send you, and they're very casual with their back-and-forth. That doesn't work if they've rinsed you of all your money.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I've developed a fun text when a friend has just had a baby. I ask a classic question: 'Are you sleeping?' The reply is inevitably that they aren't, they're getting a few hours here and there, they're exhausted. It's then when I swoop in: 'It'll all be worth it when they're softly stroking your hair as you slip into oblivion.'
Quote by -Joe Lycett
Will & Grace' was my favourite show growing up and retains a special place in my heart, not least because it was such a refreshing and witty insight into gay life. The older me loves 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.'
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I'm not that sort of writer where I can restrict myself to a theme, just in case nothing good comes of it.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I love living in Birmingham, it's just a lovely gentle life, and it's calm. And it's full of Brummies who I find hilarious.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I like to show off. But I'm not fussed about fame particularly, I don't go to things and I don't go to celeb events or whatever, that's not really my vibe.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I beam at the idea of me at the wheel of a luxury yacht, surrounded by models and moguls, sipping cool Gavi di Gavi as we meander down the French Riviera.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
Life is hard. There's parking fines, PPI, the Kardashians - it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I try and avoid the big comics in Edinburgh. You can see them on tour. Edinburgh is all about seeing the smaller comedians.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
If anything kept me awake at night it would be worrying that there wouldn't be enough time to have a nap the next day.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
There are many terms that have been used to describe me: man, comedian, disappointment, hammock enthusiast.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I nearly got hit by a car while I was trying to write a stupid joke but a female sheep stood in the way. I can't thank ewe enough.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I'd love to grow a pair of discreet wings so I could just fly around a bit and impress people.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
I'm not sure if I'm an introvert or extrovert. I love being around people, but sometimes I do need to go off and fart.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
My parents have always been very supportive and it hasn't been an issue. Mum worried I might get more problems in life because of my bisexuality but I think people are more liberal now.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
Every hairstyle I have is funny because my barber is a standup comedian by the slightly unfortunate name of Paul Sweeney. His cuts are fantastic but the chats are even better.
Quote by -Joe Lycett
It's a cliche, but the people who enjoy your work and who come up and say, 'I enjoyed that and I liked that,' they are the people who ultimately are keeping you in work. And so, it would be rude and ungrateful of me to be anything but polite.
Quote by -Joe Lycett