I always have to brace myself when I visit my parents. My mom often greets me with a slew of nonconstructive criticisms: 'Jimmy, why is your face so fat? Your clothes look homeless and your long hair makes you look like a girl.' After 30 years of this, my self-image is now a fat homeless lesbian.
I was always pretty good with making deals. When I was in sixth grade, when Pokemon cards were hot, I might have started with, like, three or four cards, and then at the end of the year, through trading with my friends and everything, I ended up with the biggest card collection in my school.