Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.

I'm not that moody. I don't have big ups and downs.

This is ludicrous. Seven- and eight-year-olds valiantly trying to cover the same acreage as those grown-up chaps in the Premier League is absurd. To add to the lunacy, a little goalkeeper, barely out of nappies, has to stand between posts that are eight strides apart - adult strides - and under a crossbar more than twice his height.

Ferrari or Lamborghini. Never fancied one of those - too flash for me. I don't really like seeking too much attention.

It's true: a lot of sportspeople really struggle to find something to do when they finish. It tips them into all sorts of strange things. With ex-footballers, it's really scary. I think 70% of them get divorced within five years. It's hard. You go from being really famous to not that famous. Your salary drops through the floor.

Not many players would turn down a chance to play for Real Madrid and Barcelona, as they're right at the top the tree in terms of football.

I've known Mark Hughes for half a lifetime. We joined Barcelona in the same summer of 1986, played together under Terry Venables and Luis Aragones, and have kept in touch ever since.

What you learn is that you can't please everyone all the time.

I think if I'd ever had any skeletons in the closet, they'd have been out a long time ago.

When I see old photos of me on the beach I don't look too bad... but it's hard trying to breathe in for such a long time when I spot the photographers!

Personal records are not what football is all about, but as goalscorers, we live and die by figures and numbers because, ultimately, that's how people will judge you.

I hear it all the time in the street: 'It's the crisp bloke.'

I sort of fall apart in terms of stamina after about 25 minutes!

The World Cup is every four years, so it's going to be a perennial problem.

I've quite often written tweets that I think are across that line, but I just delete them.

Looking at the way the game is played, I'm envious of the conditions. We played on some ropey World Cup surfaces. I genuinely never look back and wish I earned the money they do today, but I do think of that element.

The treatment by some towards these young refugees is hideously racist and utterly heartless. What's happening to our country?

Playing football and presenting TV are totally different things, but there are similarities: it's exciting, it can go well, it can go badly... the difference is when presenting goes badly, it doesn't really affect anyone's life, whereas when you have a bad day on the pitch, it affects people's moods for a whole week.

My wife Danielle and I love travelling, different cultures and good weather.

I know I am extraordinarily lucky to be doing what I am doing. I have worked hard along the way and I have been blessed too. I have had a great life.

Feel ashamed of my generation. We've let down our children and their children.

We have got too many kids around the house to have a romantic meal at home. But Danielle is a fantastic cook. She does a brilliant lasagne, great roasts and a great chilli dish. She knows the way to my heart.

People make mistakes. They say stupid things.

The whole kiss-and-tell thing is a negative approach that often happens in a World Cup. We will see negative stories about the players and it can affect their confidence and the overall performance of the national team on the pitch, let alone the bid to actually stage the competition.

That's what being a footballer is, really: you train at this time, you finish at that time, then you do that, then you go home, then you're not allowed out, then you do this... there comes a point in your career - about thirty, thirty-one - when you get a bit sick of being screamed at.

My eldest son George had acute myeloid leukaemia when he was a tiny baby, he is now 20 and doing very well. He is a mini-miracle in many ways.

On TV, if you fluff your lines, nobody gives a toss. But if you fluff a penalty in the World Cup, well - we all know how much that matters.

I think people come and go, 'I'm going to find the real Gary. What is it... the real Gary? I've got to find it.' But the thing is, it's pretty much what you see is what you get. I'm just like this. There's no hidden viciousness.

You cannot get involved in debate on 'MOTD'. You can do it on Sky because they've got hours and hours. We've got a couple of minutes. It's a very disciplined show. Our primary purpose is to show the action, and the analysis is very secondary. We have lots of people who would prefer no analysis. We have lots of people who would prefer more analysis.

Most of my best games were when I felt crap - I could hardly move on the morning of the World Cup semi-final in 1990 - but there's a thing called adrenaline that gets you through.

I can't understand why someone wouldn't have a degree of sympathy for people that had to flee their country, travel to try and find their home somewhere, and nobody wants them. How could you not be a little bit sympathetic?

If somebody in the crowd spits at you, you've got to swallow it.

Ooh, it's too embarrassing to share my innermost romantic secrets - although I have written Danielle the odd poem. If anything they are more comedic than romantic. They used to be well-received but that was before she started studying Shakespeare at drama college. Now I feel so inept.

The truth is I don't feel too bad for my age. I actually have a better shape now than I used to.

I know I could never be in a pop band. I honestly have an appalling voice.

This whole science thing of working out if players are a little bit tired just gives you an excuse to leave them out.

I'm disappearing from twitter for a while. Need a break from the bile. Local prejudice just seems to bring out the worst in some people.

In terms of aesthetics, I probably look better than I did when I played.

I wouldn't want to go out six nights a week and watch somebody's reserves playing to check out a footballer to see if we're going to buy him.

The possibility that a provincial town could win the League completely bucks the trend.

I just think to be a manager you've got to live and breathe and have this incredible enthusiasm for football, the whole thing. And while I love the game, and it's been a large part of my life, it's not the only thing in my life.

Our games are not always the best, but they are exciting, which is what people love to see.

Football's the big cheese, if you like. It's easy to have a swipe. There's a lot of footballers, and when they fall foul, they become big news.

The train's always full of football fans going up to see matches. Oh, they make sure I hear their points of view all right. They all want to have their say about their team, and make their opinions known.

We are living in difficult times. There are a lot of people out of work - am I going to stand there and whinge? No, because I am lucky to have such a wonderful job.

When you're winning games, everyone thinks everything the manager says and does is fantastic. Then it goes the other way, and those earlier criticisms of players can backfire.

In my day, I wasn't the best footballer, but I was the best goalscorer for two or three years.

We are in the entertainment business and we all know if you are top of the tree you get the big money. Those of us who have been in it are the fortunate ones but we understand that we probably don't deserve it as much as the nurses or teachers.

I was only interested in scoring goals. I wasn't interested in anything else.

I am not leaving twitter. If the mindless few defeat the thoughtful majority we are all doomed.