My old man works in the postal service, my mum in a hospital and my brother in a factory. They're my family and when I play rugby I'm representing them. But coming out was different. More than anyone, I feared for my father. I used to be a postman myself and so I know that working environment.

I'm un-self-sufficient. I can't look after myself. I really can't.

When I started doing Twitter, I realised there were so many people following me who were going through the same thing I was going through.

Some people say it's sad living in a hotel, but I'd rather be living in an hotel than living in an house on my own.

I am a rugby player and first and foremost I am a man.

My fear of coming out wasn't about rejection. I was scared people would say: 'Why were you lying to me? If you've been lying about that what else are you lying about?' Lying is my biggest regret.

People say getting fit is 90% diet and 10% exercise, but that's bollocks. If you train hard you earn the right to a chocolate bar.

Other sportsmen have confided in me that they're gay. The advice I give is that coming out is great for you as a person, but that you also have to remember you're a role model. As a sportsman you take the money and the glory, but you also take the responsibility that comes with it and make sure the stories that follow are positive.

I was always driven by the idea that if people ever found out about who I was then the stature I created for myself within rugby would have to be as relevant as the fact I was gay. It was always the driving factor to be the strongest, the fastest, the most skilful.

I was born and raised to play rugby. I have two parents who are hugely proud of my rugby achievements, but even they say that maybe it was just a platform to give me a voice to do something better, and rugby wasn't what I was all about. Something else was.

I don't take any day for granted, I work hard, I'm motivated.

I find it hard to believe that people can be jealous of other people's success.

Someone said on social media that I was the son of Satan for being open about my sexuality. I told my mother, and she laughed and said, 'Well, what the hell does that make me?'

I had a stroke in 2006. I thought: 'This is it.'

I was never ever attracted to any of my rugby mates; I was really good at switching off my emotions and I wouldn't have even considered crossing that line.

It is the toughest, most macho of male sports, and with that comes an image. In many ways, it is barbaric, and I could never have come out without first establishing myself and earning respect as a player. Rugby was my passion, my whole life, and I wasn't prepared to risk losing everything I loved.

When I was 16 or 17 I knew I was gay, but knowing and accepting are two very different things.

I became a master of disguise and could play the straight man down to a tee, sometimes over-compensating by getting into fights or being overly aggressive because I didn't want the real me to be found out. So I created this alter ego, knowing full well that I was living in my little fantasy bubble, my shell.

If I keep getting letters or if I keep getting messages from people who are still taking strength from my story, who are still finding it difficult and struggling, then you know what, then I'll keep doing what I do.

When the Wales squad met up for the 2005 autumn internationals, I was already concerned that we were slipping into bad habits. And, yes, the role of head coach Mike Ruddock was, in my opinion, becoming a problem that would eventually need to be addressed if nothing changed.

Finding a release mechanism after the pressure of a Test-match week can take over, and the next game can seem as though it might as well be six months away.

Sometimes, players find it impossible to see the bigger picture after games for the simple reason that we are the ones who have actually played.

I wish Mike Ruddock nothing but the very best in whatever he does in the future. I will always remember him as the guy who had the confidence to make me captain of Wales.

After giving up rugby, I wanted to keep busy.

I know it's not easy for people to get to a gym.

As a professional sportsman, working out has always been an important part of my life.

Playing rugby has been my whole life and for me, keeping fit was part of my job. But when I gave up my career, I was determined to keep motivated, and that isn't always easy when you have lost the competitive edge to it.

When I came out I hoped it would empower others - and it has.

Gay men are accepted in films, music and politics because people came out and broke the mould and stereotype in those industries. What I am trying to do is break the trend in rugby and sport in general and show any aspiring sportsman, regardless of his age, that the mould has been broken.

People tend to be consumed by sport when the big events come up.

The sports are almost different cultures so saying I prefer one to the other is wrong. Rugby union is guided by a lot of rules, league by the players.

When you lie you live in fear as well.

Times change so fast.

I like to think I'm a bit of a son of the country, I've played for the country so many times I feel proud to be Welsh. It's accepted me for what I am and what I do.

If I'm in the position to help someone else I'd love to be able to.

I don't try and coax people to come out because it needs to be right for them as an individual but when I speak to some people I realise that the power and influence that famous sportspeople have is amazing and to show such a positive message can change the world.

I hated being Gareth Thomas. I hated the man I looked at in the mirror.

I've been through 20 years of torment battling with my sexuality.

I had a lot of anger because I didn't like who I was when I was off the field. I used to relish the chance to try and hurt somebody in a legal way, and in the game of rugby you were able to do that.

It's only when you leave the rugby bubble that you understand that negative criticism is not personal, it's reality because we don't always get everything right.

I loved playing rugby so much. I would have played rugby every day if I could have. I loved being a player so much, I don't know if I could sit on the side, with the passion I have and try and influence without being on there.

Everything I ever did in my life when I was younger revolved around wanting to play for Wales, and then you get that cap... it's hard to describe.

I've been through the first cap, the 50th, and the 100th, and I defy any player who has ever gone past all those milestones to look at each of them and say that first cap isn't the one that makes him tingle the most.

I can remember lacing up my boots ahead of my first cap against Japan in the 1995 World Cup in South Africa. I remember the changing room, the smell of the place, every last detail of how I warmed up, walking out onto the pitch, thinking how proud my parents would be. I was doing all I ever wanted to do.

People can be really famous in Wales for rugby, but outside of Wales nobody really has a clue who you are or what you've done.

Growing up I wasn't aware of a single gay person in our town. The only people who were gay that you had any idea of were Kenny Everett and people like him on TV. I thought, that's not what I am.

I'm not a stereotypical gay man but I am a gay man as much as anyone else.

I've always wanted to go to Chicago.

You've got to be a right grouch to hate holidays, but one thing I do hate is the old towel on the sun bed trick. It kills me that people get up at five in the morning and go down to the swimming pool and reserve their sun bed with a towel.

I've had toiletries explode in my bag and go all over my clothes a few times but I wouldn't let something like that ruin a holiday for me.