QUOTES by Dave Barry
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Quote by -Dave Barry
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
Quote by -Dave Barry
We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.
Quote by -Dave Barry
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
Quote by -Dave Barry
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
Quote by -Dave Barry
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Quote by -Dave Barry
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
Quote by -Dave Barry
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
Quote by -Dave Barry
It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Quote by -Dave Barry
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
Quote by -Dave Barry
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Quote by -Dave Barry
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Quote by -Dave Barry
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Quote by -Dave Barry
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Quote by -Dave Barry