QUOTES by Chris Rock
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
Simplicity is hard to build, easy to use, and hard to charge for. Complexity is easy to build, hard to use, and easy to charge for.
Quote by -Chris Rock
I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.
Quote by -Chris Rock
I love what's happened to me, but when I was a kid, I wanted to be the president of the United States.
Quote by -Chris Rock
I don't believe I can offend you in a comedy club. I don't believe I can offend you in a concert. A comedy club is a place where you work out material; you're trying material.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I'm not picking on my wife.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
Quote by -Chris Rock
President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Quote by -Chris Rock
There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
Quote by -Chris Rock
I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I'm kind of a contemporary guy. I don't think you want to see me in 'Raisin in the Sun'.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
Quote by -Chris Rock
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
Quote by -Chris Rock
I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
Quote by -Chris Rock
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.
Quote by -Chris Rock
When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.
Quote by -Chris Rock
I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.
Quote by -Chris Rock
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Quote by -Chris Rock
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Quote by -Chris Rock
I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.
Quote by -Chris Rock
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.
Quote by -Chris Rock