When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.

I can't build myself by beating somebody down.

I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, 'I'm like you - I'm frustrated, I'm not an expert, I don't have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I'm selfish too.'

I've been in training for stardom.

Bernie Mac is talented!

Bernie Mac is happy.

Bernie Mac is relentless. That's one thing I like about him. He's not PC. He doesn't care what you think. He's going out there to please that audience.

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

I ain't running for office. I ain't running for nothing.

My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.

The two sides of Bernie - that's a quiet weapon that I have.

When you're offstage, that's the footprint. That's the man God's gonna judge.

I love who I am. I love what I've become.

I'm so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.

I don't think the people wanna see me play Clyde Johnson the architect.

Black audiences are hard. They always think they're better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.

Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? 'Cause he had problems.

I love my daughter, but there's a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?

My daughter was a beautiful child.

I've never been no superficial cat.

I don't ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

My girlfriend Rhonda, who's now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, 'You've got to do the right thing.'

I know doing movies is where I need to be. That's where my audience wants to see me.

I can act. I've been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don't nobody owe you nothing. You've go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don't go from M to Z.

I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.

It's a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.

Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.

I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It's still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.

I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.

My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.

Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.

Fear is not one of my attributes.

My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that - a stern enforcer.

I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.

I have so much respect for what's funny.

You can't be a doctor if you don't know the entire parts of the body.