QUOTES by H. L. Mencken
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A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
Quote by -H. L. Mencken